It'll Give Me Time to Think (Gabriel)

[gabriel]

Gabriel was still reeling from the conversation he'd just had with Kyan... yes, conversation, and not fuck. Though a little disappointing, he was glad that he could help him sort out his problems. At least he did something productive for once, instead of just getting shit faced and wandering around Liberty Avenue until the wee hours of the morning.

He was just getting ready to go back out onto the dance floor when he noticed that boy... the GSA president... Desmond. Yeah, that was his name. Desmond. He didn't remember the scene in the janitor's closet right away but when he did he tried to avoid Desmond's gaze. It was too late, the other boy hadn't just recognized him, he was addressing him.

"Hey, hey, hey," Gabe said, holding his hands up in a defensive manner. "It takes two to tango, dude! Whatever happened, or whatever you did... that isn't my fault."

So much for ending his night on a positive note.

[Desmond Giuseppe]

Even if Desmond had been sober, he wouldn't have considered Gabe completely not at fault; he had to have known how emotionally vulnerable Desmond was and he took advantage of that. Although, in his intoxicated state, Desmond was blaming Gabe perhaps more than he should. Blaming the younger boy for everything just made Desmond feel a little better and he was far too drunk for maturity and logic.

"HA!" Desmond said loudly, the force of his own voice knocking him off balance slightly, "Y-y-you knew that I was upset a-and you took advantage of that. . ." Desmond was trying to be serious, but the fact that he was swaying slightly and his eyes kept glazing over had to be taking away from the effect. He wasn't drunk enough for his mind to completely fail him, but his body sure wasn't composing its self as it should. "Y-you should have been the better man a-and just walked away . . . or pushed me away or. . . or something!"

Desmond looked down at his glass and notice it was empty. Now seemed like a good time to try to sober up; Desmond asked the bar tended to get him some water before turning back to Gabe.

"Well???" he said, the polite tone he used with the bartender coompletely melting away, "What do you have to say for yourself?"

[gabriel]

Gabriel, who was a lot more sober after his encounter with Kyan than he had been before, made a move to go help Desmond steady himself. Sure, the kid hated his guts right now, but he didn't want him to fall on his pretty little face now! Of course, Desmond steadied himself, and Gabe thought that it might be best to remain where he was. No need to antagonize the older boy, just sit there and be rational, he reminded himself. After all, he had sort of taken advantage of Desmond. That much was true. Though the older boy had been willing enough!

"Maybe just a little, but you know what they say?" Gabriel started, and continued without pausing because no one ever 'knew what they said' in situations like this. "You do things when you're emotional that you want to do deep down all of the time; it's only when you let your guard down that those instincts show." Yes, he had just implied that Desmond had always, deep down, wanted to fuck inside of the janitor's closet. And maybe he had, for all Gabe knew. "You could've pushed away just as much as me, man. I've got needs too, you think my hormones are easier to ignore than yours?"

"I don't have much to say for myself. No regrets, Desmond. I've never regretted a single thing I've done with my life and I don't plan on starting now. It's over. Let it go."

[Desmond Giuseppe]

Desmond felt like he was hearing Gabe's voice from the other side of a long tunnel. He shook his head slightly and drained the bottle of water the bartender had given him, though he new he would suffer for it later; the more liquids he consumed the more likely it became that he would 'break the seal'. That didn't really matter to Desmond right now as he was trying to sober up to have this conversation properly with Gabe.

As much as he wanted to entirely blame the younger boy, Gabe was slightly right; Desmond had been feeling a bit needy since, at the time, Josh was to afraid to do anything sexual with him. It might have been easier for twenty seven year old Josh to do, but when you're eighteen like Desmond such urges are much harder to ignore. That still didn't mean that Desmond had been dying to do it in the janitor's closet or anywhere else in the school for that matter. As Desmond recalled, he had gone to the janitor's closet that day to be alone, not to run into Gabe.

"Ok, maybe I was feeling needy," Desmond bitterly admitted, "but I was telling you about the problems I was having with my boyfriend and all you did was make it worse! Yeah, we're both horny teenage boys here, but you, as the far less emotionally distressed party, could have used some discretion!" Desmond was starting to sound a lot more put together for someone who was still drunk, but that was thanks to having a lawyer for a father.

"Let it go?" Desmond repeated with outrage, "Let it go? Well, maybe that's easy for you to say seeing as you didn't have a boyfriend to face a few hours later and then a date with Jackie D. and the hospital after that! But what do you care? You're gonna be dead in a couple of months so who cares how many lives you fuck up on the way, right? Must be nice to know that you're not going to have any long term consequences for the shit you've done! You could kill me right now and it wouldn't even matter because you'd be dead before you even got to trial! Living without regrets doesn't make you a strong or a bold person; it just means you're to weak and arrogant to admit when you're wrong! It just makes you a selfish piece of shit!"

[gabriel]

Gabriel was glad to hear Desmond admit that he had been in the wrong, at least just a little bit. Of course the whole thing had mostly been Gabe's fault, and he would admit that if he had to, but it hadn't been entirely his fault, and as long as Desmond was allowing himself to be honest about that much of the situation then Gabriel would take the blame for the rest. He wasn't an unreasonable person.

"Less emotionally distressed? I don't think you're qualified to determine how emotionally distressed I am, Desmond. How do you know I wasn't having an even worse time than you that day? Maybe I was the distressed one, and you should've been the voice of reason. You have no idea." He wasn't yelling, or even really accusing. Gabriel was simply pointing out that there were two sides to every story. And he'd been pretty distressed the past month or so, who was to say how he was feeling on that particular day? He couldn't remember exactly what had surrounded the events in the janitor's closet, so he couldn't honestly vouch for how he felt, but he could imagine it wasn't the best if he was hiding from his peers and teachers in the closet.

"It is easier for me to say, I guess it's easier to let things go knowing that you're dying. I mean, who needs to hold onto things you're going to lose in a few months or years anyway, right?" Gabriel's voice turned a little harder now. He knew that Desmond was both drunk and upset - he had every right to be both of those things. But to use Gabriel's cancer against him... that was a little rough for Gabe to stomach. He was used to playing the sympathy card with his illness, not to have it turned against him like that.

"I deserve that," he said, still trying not to anger Desmond any further. He was really glad that he hadn't gotten the opportunity to drink much before Kyan had distracted him, leaving him almost perfectly sober for this encounter. "Yeah, it's a great feeling to know that you're slowly dying, and that even if you love someone you can't get close to them because you know you'd just break their heart in the end. It's awesome." Tone dripping with sarcasm, Gabriel shook his head. Why was he saying all of this to Desmond, anyway? He didn't care about Gabriel's problems.

"If you're looking for someone to blame, then you win. Here I am! Just push all of your problems off on me and give yourself a clean slate. You obviously never do anything rash or impulsive, so that little incident was all my fault. Blame me so you can feel better about your weak will, then leave me the hell alone."

Gabriel's patients was wearing thin, and he just wanted to go home and sleep this night off.

[Desmond Giuseppe]

Much of was Gabriel has said was hard for Desmond to absorb, mostly because there was a lot said and Desmond was still pretty intoxicated. Through most it, Desmond's comprehension had been drifting in and out, but what he was able to intake, didn't really make him feel any better. He supposed he had wanted to get a bit of a rise out of Gabriel, and although the volume of his voice or his attitude didn't change, Desmond could tell that he had shaken the younger boy at least somewhat. Now, after hearing what Gabriel had to say, Desmond was starting to wish he hadn't said anything at all. At the same time, it did give him a bit more insight into how Josh must have felt . . .

Desmond really really really wish he would just sober up already, because now he had a whole new set of thoughts buzzing around in his head and hardly any spare brain cells to organize them into coherent statements. This really wasn't the time to be having this conversation with Gabe, Desmond was at least sober enough to realize that. On top of everything else, Desmond was starting to feel sick and he had a feeling the alcohol wasn't the only thing causing his nausea.

"Look, I'm sorry; I may have crossed the line just then," he said, his words starting to slur again as his nausea was distracting him from trying to sound coherent, "but I'm drunk and upset. . . maybe not the best excuse, but it's all I got. . . And I never said I was perfect, believe me; I've fuck up quite a lot in the past few months. . . I think right now may be added to that list. . . but I'm not to arrogant to not admit by fucks ups and just because you've got a grudge against life or what ever, doesn't mean you can't do the same.

"Now, I gotta go cus I seriously think I'm about to turn into a scene from the Exorcist and just vomit everywhere. Who even invented gin was an asshole. . . excuse me." Desmond, with hardly any closure at all with the situation at hand, had no choice but to pick himself up and quickly leave the bar. He needed fresh air and a taxi home so he had to stumble out of the night club all together.

As Desmond as vomiting in the back alley outside Babylon with a group of old bears laughing at him, he couldn't help but think that he was going to have to properly deal with Gabriel sooner or later because all he had done that night was make things much much worse.

((I may start a thread at the school or something for Desmond to apologize to Gabe))

[gabriel]

Gabriel had overreacted, of course, but he felt as though he was justified. Who picked on a dying kid for dying?! He knew that Desmond probably didn't mean it, at least he hadn't meant to seem so cruel about it. From what he had gathered in school Desmond was a pretty alright guy, and people had a tendency to become completely different people when they were drunk. Especially when they were drunk and upset.

"It's alright," he said, mainly just to make the situation less tense. There was no need for this to go any further, at least not right then and there. "Yeah, you should probably go before you make a mess," Gabriel agreed sympathetically.

Watching Desmond stumble across the floor left Gabriel at the bar alone once more. Taking this as a sign to end this night before anything else could happen to him, Gabriel silently paid his tab and left, pausing only to check out a hottie in fishnet for a few seconds before leaving.