Returning Home (Christian!)

[Noah Malachi]

Noah had to stay after school for his photography club, which meant that Christian probably would've gotten home way before him. The two of them hadn't spoken a whole lot over the weekend since Noah's job had kept him pretty busy at the church. The church, which seemed to judge him from the second he stepped out of his car and onto the parking lot. Everything he did, said, or looked at seemed to remind him of his encounter with Christian Friday night, which was very distracting. It seemed like the more he avoided talking about it the more it consumed his life, and yet every time he found himself alone with Christian someone else would enter the room or interrupt them.

He had seen Christian a few times throughout the day, mostly in the halls during the changing of classes, and each time he had only been able to give his roommate a quick smile before he was lost in the shuffling crowds.

Noah was almost afraid that, being left alone in his house again, Christian might try and leave like he had Saturday morning. He couldn't explain this almost unreasonable fear that gripped his insides, unsure as to why he was to desperate to keep Noah in his home. What did he think would happen?

All he knew was that both of his parents' cars were gone when he arrived home from school, which meant that if Christian had gone straight home from school the two of them would be alone for the first time in three days.

((ooc- yeah, crap, but at least it's started something! Unless you wanted them to be somewhere less... private. Just let me know, that can be easily fixed. I just wasn't sure where else to put them.))

[Christian Hart]

Being home alone in a house unfamiliar to him had become less awkward over time; not that Christian was left alone quite often, but there were a few moments where he wasn't sure if he was allowed to grab a snack or use the internet without permission.

This was one of those moments, and although Christian had finally been assured that he could watch TV as much as he wanted, he felt the need to do something productive - something to help out around the house he'd become rather accustomed to and fond of.

So, he stationed himself in front of the sink and began to fill it with hot water, soaking a few large pans while soaping up one of the various sponges scattered around the faucet. The Malachis had a dishwasher, but Noah's mother had kept to washing dishes by hand, claiming that doing it manually worked better.

He'd gotten a third of the way through an average-sized stack of bowls when the lock on the front door gave an click, alerting Christian of Noah's arrival.

Noah.

Christian had been wondering if it was just bad timing or a conscious act that kept he and Noah from talking alone, but either way he was on edge about actually being able to talk mono-a-mono. He still felt a little frayed over what'd happened - the feeling rarely left him, actually, a thought even more disconcerting than their encounter - but had tried his best to disguise the emotions he'd been feeling. Though he'd gotten quite used to doing that back at his house, being with Noah made it... difficult.

Difficult as it was, however, the time had come to put on his best face.

[Noah Malachi]

Noah turned his key in the lock and found it almost amusing that he was apprehensive about entering his own home. The house were he had grown up in for the last eighteen years of his life was now one of his greatest fears, and the sheer absurdity of the situation made him want to laugh out loud in one of those maniacal sort of ways. Of course, he only had himself to blame. He knew that Christian was waiting on the other side of the door, and that he’d have to talk seriously to him about their situation. For the past few days they’ve been avoiding each other, or so it seemed, but if he really was going to stay living with the Malachis then things really had to be sorted out. They couldn’t go on like this forever.

Christian wasn’t in the front room, where Noah entered and flung his backpack carelessly onto the nearest sofa. It was just full of books and binders, nothing important or breakable like his Walkman. As it fell to the ground after a very ungraceful bounce on the cushion Noah thought he heard the sound of running water. Following that sound to the kitchen he saw Christian doing the dishes, which made him smile. He was glad for the distraction.

“You know you don’t have to do that,” he pointed out, having said that at least twice a day since Christian had ‘moved in’. He was always doing work around the house, no matter how many times he was told that it wasn’t necessary. “You’re hands are going to get all prune-y.”

Noah remembered how soft Christian’s skin was normally, when not soaked in the dishwater for fifteen minutes, and realized that things between them were definitely not going to go back to quite like they were before the homecoming dance.

[Christian Hart]

“You know you don’t have to do that - your hands are going to get all prune-y.”


Christian had turned around right in time to see Noah enter, feeling his heart flutter a bit in his chest; a sensation he tried to reject as vehemently as it came on. Every time he happened to catch Noah's gaze or notice one of his many details - the reddish-brown hue his hair took on in the sun, the way he adjusted his glasses with his thumb and index finger - he felt a similar, buzzing tingle to the one he felt that night... but it couldn't be. It couldn't - no. It had to be a residual feeling, one only sparked by his appearance and soon to fade...

"I know I don't have to, but I like doing something to compensate for my stay here. And prunes are very delicious, I'll have you know." he said, the last part with a joking tone. While he was uncomfortable with his feelings, the least he could do was make the situation pleasant for the both of them. Making it more awkward than it had to be - if it was awkward to Noah; Christian wasn't entirely sure - was certainly not something he felt would be appropriate, considering their housing situation.

Rinsing out the bowl he held in his hands, Christian sat it on the wooden drying rack and faced Noah, leaning against the counter with his legs crossed. If anything needed to be said, he wanted Noah to see that he was ready for it.

...or Christian could be totally wrong about his intuition. Either way.

[Noah Malachi]

"I know I don't have to, but I like doing something to compensate for my stay here. And prunes are very delicious, I'll have you know."

Noah laughed a little, having never actually tasted a prune before in his life. Still unwilling to face the probably severity of their situation, he felt the need to keep the conversation going with yet another joke.

“Well, do you mind if I tell my parents I did it?” he joked, but didn’t laugh afterwards. He just sighed, knowing that he was avoiding what was on both of their minds. It wasn’t hard to apprehend; actually, it was rather apparent by the look on Christian’s face as he turned around and crossed his legs that if anyone was going to say anything it would have to be Noah. He had kind of hoped to avoid being the first to say something, but knew it was inevitable now.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out in another sigh, Noah looked into Christian’s eyes. Those deep eyes, which are so easy to fall into. He was reminded of a cheesy lyric he had heard in his car on the way over, something like, ‘Cause I could fall asleep in those eyes, Like a water bed’… what was wrong with him? This might be his only chance to set things straight with Christian, and they had to take advantage of the opportunity. It seemed like his parents were hovering around him more often than usual, which he hadn’t thought possible before now.

“Listen, Christian...” Noah started, but trailed off already. What should he say? What would he say? What could he say?

“I… we… shit, I don’t even know what to say that won’t fuck this up!” he said, before immediately covering his moth. “Sorry! I usually don’t swear like that, it’s just… we need to talk about last Friday.” There. It was out there, and he’d been the first one to say something. “We haven’t really spoken since, not alone, and I don’t want things to get awkward. You do live here now, after all.”

Knowing that he was getting nowhere fast, Noah took another moment of pause to clear his head. “I don’t really know what to say about it because I’m still kind of confused,” he admitted, hoping that maybe Christian would say something, anything, to make him not feel like such an idiot. "I mean, I never thought that I'd... but I don't regret it... it was kind of exciting..."

He needed to stop speaking. Why did being around Christian make him so nervous and self-conscious all of a sudden? And, for crying out loud, why couldn't he string together a coherent line of words. He was unwilling to admit to himself that he had feelings for Christian, not openly, but the signs were all there. Could he tell Christian? What would he think of him? That he was just kidding, or messing with him? And even if he admitted it to himself, and to Christian… what about publicly? His family, the church, they’d never accept him again. He was so flustered that it made it hard to think straight, and he looked up hopefully at Christian for some sort of acknowledgement...

[Christian Hart]

“Listen, Christian...”

There it was. Good. So Christian hadn't been the only one feeling awkward about it. Now it just came down to what Noah would say. Had he changed his mind? Maybe he wanted Christian to leave after all.

That thought left him more disappointed than it should have. No, he had to pay attention now and let Noah he was ready and willing to talk it over. Managing to continue eye contact, Christian let Noah grasp his next words.

“I… we… shit, I don’t even know what to say that won’t fuck this up! - Sorry! I usually don’t swear like that, it’s just… we need to talk about last Friday. We haven’t really spoken since, not alone, and I don’t want things to get awkward. You do live here now, after all.”

Christian was surprised by the profanity, but not enough so to be distracted the last part of his outburst. "You do live here now, after all..." Did he really mean that? If he did... if he didn't want Christian out of the house... then what was wrong? Was he just disgusted and wanted to express it? That seemed unlikely, considering their brief pleasantries and the fact that he hadn't taken the time to say something earlier. Digging his hands into his pockets, he watched Noah cautiously, uncertain of what he was going to say.

“I don’t really know what to say about it because I’m still kind of confused... I mean, I never thought that I'd... but I don't regret it... it was kind of exciting..."

What?

Did he actually... the heart fluttering bit that happened earlier made a startling comeback, leaving Christian obviously flustered. He enjoyed it? He - really -

No, he said it was exciting, not necessarily enjoyable or good. Maybe he would say how it was wrong, how it shouldn't have been exciting... but no, he said he didn't regret it. So... was it entirely crazy to think that maybe Noah liked it? He'd denied the possibility so much that the thought of reciprocation felt like a relief.

But first things first.

"So..." he began lamely, attempting to arrange his thoughts in a way that wouldn't make him seem desperate, "Are you saying that you... you, uh..."

He placed a hand over his heart self-consciously, afraid that it was beating so hard Noah could see it. Was he blushing? He felt so warm, all over.

"Are you... did you... fuck. Are we feeling the same thing?"

The question came out faster than he'd have liked, but he practically spasmed with relief that it was finally out there in the open, however ambiguous the question was phrased. It seemed, what with the tension that had built, that the meaning behind it was obvious. Christian just hoped that it was the same for Noah, however awkward it was.

[Noah Malachi]

Noah had broken eye contact for just a moment. He couldn’t keep looking into Christian’s face like that, not while he was thinking the way he was. No, his feet and the floor below him seemed like much better scenery. At least looking down allowed him a moment or two to stop the fierce red blush that seemed to be enveloping his entire body. He took a few deep breaths before chancing a look upwards again, glancing at Christian’s expression as he processed the words that had just left his own mouth. Exciting…

"So... Are you saying that you... you, uh..."

Even before the words left Christian’s mouth Noah could see the excitement in his face. No, excitement wasn’t the right word. Hope was more like it. There was a look of borderline desperation at first, one which Christian quickly controlled and brought into check as he continued on. Noah felt as though his chest was going to burst with the apprehension that was building up between the two of them, and took the slightest step closer to where Christian was standing by the sink. The gap between them was far too large for such an intimate conversation.

Noah wondered if perhaps it Christian who was confused. Maybe he hadn’t meant to kiss him, and maybe Christian didn’t like him. That thought hadn’t struck him before. What if Christian’s awkwardness was because he’d make a mistake, and wanted to take it back? As Christian’s hand went up to his own chest, though, Noah knew in that same second that they were definitely thinking the alike.

"Are you... did you... fuck. Are we feeling the same thing?"

There it was. The question hung in the air between them, but Noah didn’t respond right away. After both of them had managed to butcher the English language during their first two attempts at speaking, he didn’t want to say the wrong thing and ruin everything that had been said thus far. He was afraid to speak, afraid to put himself out there by opening up. Noah wasn’t used to feeling this vulnerable, and it scared him more than he was willing to admit.

Noah opened his mouth once, but closed it quickly. What now? It was all hanging on him, and he had two options: tell the truth, and confess that he thought he had feelings for Christian, or lie. Lie, and pretend that he wasn’t lost, confused, or any of those things, lie and pretend that he knew exactly what to do with his emotions and his life. And as much as he knew that lying would only make his life easier, he found his head moving up and down, nodding slowly despite his apprehension.

“That… that depends on what you’re feeling,” Noah said quietly, his eyes wide as though he couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his own mouth. Unbelievable as the whole scenario might have been a few weeks ago, now it seemed all too plausible. Welcomed, even, because something told him that all of the discomfited tension they had harbored before would soon be gone, one way or another.

He dared to take one more step, barely noticeable, while looking back into Christian’s eyes to try and gauge his reaction. His true reaction, which would hopefully be reflected in those bright orbs, despite whatever controlled expression might cross his face. This was it, Noah thought, as he self-consciously pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb, knowing that the thin layer of glass which separated his eyes from Christian couldn’t hide the emotions of insecurity and intrigue that were displayed there.

((ooc- yeah, wording issues at the end… but blegh, better than nothing, I suppose.))

[Christian Hart]

“That… that depends on what you’re feeling.”

Damnit. It was so drawn out for what seemed so obvious, but the hesitance in Noah's statement kept Christian somewhat wary. What if Noah didn't - he hadn't denied or confirmed anything, so what if he wasn't feeling the same -

No. No, forget that.

Fuck that.

By this point, Christian was feeling so frustrated that he was beginning to not even care about what might or might not have been misunderstood desire. With every small step Noah took toward him, Christian felt a wave of voracity hit him, over and over until he was, well, horny as hell. The feelings surged uncontrollably, previously unbeknownst to himself or perhaps just unrecognized, but Christian was grateful regardless; now was the opportune moment to discover he'd been secretly yearning for the boy who so kindly, and innocently, took him in.

And then felt a familiar tingle shoot its way through his spine, the same sort of vibe he'd felt before he kissed Zeke a - an impulse. But it was different. It was a raw, demanding sensation rather than a lapse in judgment - and suddenly Christian realized that that was what made that wrong and this so right.

Without a second thought, Christian easily closed the distance between them, grasped Noah by the back of his head, and pulled him towards his own, lips colliding ferverently the moment they were in range of each other. He snaked his other arm past Noah and grasped the kitchen island's edge, pushing the boy in his grip against it (and against him).

This was ecstasy, or damn close to it. He hadn't felt so impassioned before, whether it be from their location (in a pastor's home), their situation (currently living in the same home, sharing the same room), or just due to the fact that the feelings he had for Noah were so much more powerful than he'd ever thought. So much more than just an innocent crush or a slight affection... this was lust, furious and unrelenting.

And if Noah objected, it would be good while it lasted.

[Noah Malachi]

Noah saw the slightest hint of hesitation come from Christian’s end, but it didn’t last long. After just the slightest pause Christian seemed to be moving towards him, quickly closing the gap between them. Also acting on impulse, Noah moved forward a little more to meet him half-way. They didn’t just meet, but seemed to collide with such force that their lips were pushed together roughly and Noah had to back away just the slightest bit to be able to kiss back properly rather than just smush his lips against Christian’s.

That wasn’t necessary. Within seconds he was being pushed back against the island with Christian’s lithe body in tow. The hand was still around his head, pulling him in towards the other boy, and the feeling of Christian’s fingers in his hair made an unfamiliar tingle rise through his entire body. Noah was surprised to find himself a little weak in the knees, but he quickly recovered by moving one hand to Christian’s hip while placing the other against Christian’s chest, deciding that those were better places than where they had been – hanging uselessly at his sides.

As his back collided with the island counter he could feel a dull, throbbing pain due to the force with which he’d fallen back against it. Somehow it didn’t seem to matter as the passion and intensity of the moment was all-consuming. He had forgotten all of his original vacillation, but only just. He knew that the whole reason he hadn’t made a move was because he wasn’t positive on his motivation. Did he just want this because it was new? Because he was rebelling against his parents, or against the church? Or did he really have feelings for Christian, the boy he had barely known until mere weeks ago? He didn’t want to do this for the wrong reasons, not when Christian really meant it, but he wasn’t worried about that any more now that it had begun.

It was hard to say that there was a higher level of intensity to kiss back with than that shown by Christian, but Noah at least matched the other boy’s as he parted his lips for Christian’s waiting tongue, moving his own forward in a circular motion. The hand on Christian’s chest moved up, running through his blond hair and pulling their bodies closer together, hips grinding together, fueled by lust rather than any sort of sensible emotion.

Noah’s mind shut off. He didn’t worry about his parents coming home. He didn’t think about going to hell, or being disowned. He couldn’t even remembered his many reasons for not wanting to start anything in the first place. All he could think about was Christian, and their current embrace, which elicited the slightest whimpering sound before he could force it back. He wasn’t sure what to do next, though. He wasn’t experienced in this sort of thing… what if Christian wanted to take it farther?

Deciding to cross that bridge when he came to it, Noah opted to simply allow things to happen, submitting happily to the heat of the moment, following wherever Christian might lead him. This kind of fervor he had only dreamt about though those dreams had always involved someone of the opposite sex. Now, well, he was thrown for a loop, and was feeling more than a little exploratory.

((ooc- I was never good at these sorts of posts… *shrug* Dinner time, so the ending was a bit rushed. I was genuinely afraid of what would happen if you got home and I hadn’t posted yet, though. Hehehe!))

[Christian Hart]

Christian wasn't sure how many times he'd thought something felt the best it could possibly feel, but he was certain that regardless of any kisses or touches he'd received before, this passionate encounter ranked number one. He was so close to Noah, bodies pressed tight against one another, legs nearly intertwined as they leaned into the countertop. A single hand trailed across his chest, leaving fire in its wake. God, he felt so alive, like every inch of him was pulsing and tingling with a heart of its own.

The hand he'd used to pull closer to Noah grabbed the boy's waist, sliding down his hip and back again. Touching - and being touched - after that drunken tease felt ten times as good and left him feeling ten times less guilty.

And then Noah whimpered, a sound that both worried Christian and drove him insane. At least now he knew what Zeke must've felt like, considering the numerous time his mouth made him whimper like that. Though he was still thoroughly convinced Noah didn't object to their sudden and rapidly developing kiss, Christian gave him a couple of light and breathy pecks before drawing back slightly.

"This", he began, gazing into Noah's wide, round eyes as he caught his breath, "is what I was feeling, so, your turn."

Whether or not the whimper was a sign of rejection, Christian wanted to hear Noah confirm his own desires verbally. Taking advantage of him wasn't something he wanted to repeat, though it might've been too late to think about that.

[Noah Malachi]

There was nothing stopping them. He could feel the heat of Christian’s body against his own. The touch of Christian’s soft hands gripping his hip, caressing his thigh, up and down. He could feel himself start to get hard the closer Christian’s hand got to the zipper of his jeans, but stopped before they got that far. Something did stop Christian, however, and after a few gentle kisses he drew away, leaving Noah struggling to catch his breath again. Damn, how was it that Christian managed to have this effect on him so easily?

"This is what I was feeling, so, your turn."

Separated from the other boy’s touch, Noah was startled to realize how much he craved that contact again. With the contact gone the voices inside of his head picked up again. You’re going to hell… you should be disgusted with yourself… no restraint… you’ve given it all up for a moment of passion… the voices of ‘reason’ insisted, and he found himself shocked (Appalled? Disgusted? Dismayed?) by how much he hungered after Christian’s touch. It was so unlike him, his usual self-control and discipline unable to be upheld… he wasn’t upset by the action, but by his inability to control his responses and emotions. Noah wasn’t used to this sort of self-indulgence, and had been raised to believe that there was probably something wrong about it. Sinful. Curse his father and the church-morals that were programmed into him at such a young age. He felt a little dirty, but liked the feeling, which confused him.

As he went through these realizations rather quickly, no more than a few seconds could have gone by, he had been staring down at the floor again. He knew that if he didn’t become more assertive he would lose Christian’s interest, or seem like he was embarrassed or disgusted. He knew that Christian was waiting for his reply, and nibbled his lower lip in thought. Was he doing this for all the wrong reasons? He had no basis for comparison.

“I still don’t know exactly what I feel,” he admitted, trying to keep the desperation from his voice. This animal instinct coming out of Noah scared him more than he would have liked. “It’s all so hazy, like a blur, but… But I know that I want this… I need it…” It was the honest-to-God truth, and all he could do was hope that it was good enough for Christian. His biggest fear now was that Christian wouldn’t accept his answer, or that the other boy had pulled away because he didn’t think that Noah was ready. He may have been inexperienced, but he was willing to learn, to try…

Noah knew that there was no turning back now. If there ever was a point of no return, he had crossed it. What had started out as a drunken make-out session had now turned into an irresistible trap of need, lust, and passion. Christian’s touch seemed to be tearing down every last bit of his reason, and he didn’t mind. Without waiting for a response from his houseguest Noah took the initiative to close the gap between them, placing both hands on either side of Christian’s hips to pull him closer, clenching his fists gently as he turned them slightly, pushing Christian against the nearby wall just below one of the family’s many crosses. Doing his best to just act and not think, he grabbed a hold of each of Christian’s wrists and pressed them against the wall above his head as they kissed. Soon, however, he couldn’t resist the urge to touch him again and freed his hands to press against Christian’s firm chest muscles.

[Christian Hart]

Christian watched Noah carefully, gaging the slight nuances his face revealed and studying the trail of his eyes. He looked conflicted - no, more confused than conflicted - and at that moment, Christian wished he could read Noah's mind more than he had ever wished for anything before. He knew Noah would answer his query eventually, but he had become afraid that that answer would mimic their earlier conversation - vague and easily misinterpreted. So far Christian had played his cards right, not saying anything to distress Noah, but it was too early to claim a victory over ambiguity between them. Ignoring the bit of lip (still swollen and tender) nibbling (Christian had been doing that for him before), he tried to restrict his focus to Noah's reply.

“I still don’t know exactly what I feel... It’s all so hazy, like a blur, but… But I know that I want this… I need it…”

The subtle, but fervent shake in Noah's voice and the heat of Christian's own expression reflected in his eyes made the blond's face flush once again, and the heat in his groin reawaken. It was certainly enough to convince Christian that they were both aching to continue their erotic exploits. But before he could get his hands on him once again, Noah seized his hips by the jeans and pushed him up against a wall, pinning his hands just below a cross. "How ironic..."

What he couldn't do with his hands for the moment, he did with his lips - caressed, explored, felt Noah's mouth desperately, darting his tongue along the smooth surfaces of his teeth and peppering the other boy's upper lip with small bites. Soon enough, Noah abandoned his hold on Christian's wrists and went for his chest, touching everything with flat palms. Briefly, he wondered if Noah's heartbeat disguised his own fluttering pulse, or if he could feel it as strong and livid as it was inside his chest. That was the only thought he afforded time before he was touching Noah in turn, sliding his hands underneath the boy's brown shirt and teasing each one of the vertebrae he could feel with a light touch.

Meanwhile, his mouth took to Noah's neck, mouthing and licking his jaw before dispensing butterfly kisses across the wet patches of skin. "No marks..." he had to remind himself, knowing full well of relationships discovered through hickeys and love bites left by a forgetful lover. This relationship could NOT be discovered - a thought that made his heart skip, but was immediately suppressed when he felt the distinct press of something to his thigh...

Christian was half-way through a high-pitched whine when he heard something that set off alarms in his mind. The turn of a doorknob.

Noah's mother was home.

Nearly giving himself whiplash from turning his head so fast, Christian looked toward the hallway where she would soon appear, gave Noah a frantic look, and did the only thing he could think of to do in such a fraught moment; he dropped to the ground and crawled behind the kitchen island, pressing himself close up against it.

Hopefully Noah would understand his logic; two panting, mussed boys was suspicious, but maybe just one could possibly be passed off as something simple, like a quick jog around the block or a few rounds on a dancing video game. Any excuse would suffice, considering the alternative. Christian just prayed that this didn't screw up everything that happened. Another celibate week and he would explode from sexual tension.

[Noah Malachi]

Noah remembered vaguely thinking that he should pin Christian’s hands down more often, because it seemed to make him twice as forceful with the other options available to him. As his tongue explored and small bites were exchanged Noah was pleased with the response he had given. He had been both honest enough to win Christian’s confidence that this should continue and vague enough to avoid the fact that he wasn’t sure if he was okay with the primal drives that had suddenly engulfed his entire being. All he knew was that while the two boys embraced the rational voices inside of his head were silenced, and that was all Noah needed to want to continue.

Drunk with the pure, unfiltered ecstasy that was coursing through his body, Noah felt as though this were just a continuation of what they had started the night they’d both been drinking. He felt exactly the same, lost in the heat of the moment but never without the smallest voice in the back of his mind reminding him of exactly what he was doing. Luckily for him that voice was easily overpowered and promptly ignored.

The touch of Christian’s somewhat shriveled hands (the prune comment floated back into his mind for a moment) moved deftly over his bare chest after making their way up his dress shirt. His light, gentle touch left a tingling sensation in their wake, causing Noah to seriously debate the removal of his shirt altogether, and Christian’s too, while he was at it. His thoughts evaporated as Christian’s mouth left his own to travel lower, down his neck. Noah moaned quietly, arching his neck and allowing his eyes to roll back in his head. Christian was being careful not to leave any marks, and Noah found that this consideration only made him hornier.

Pulling Christian closer to him yet again, pressing the full weight of his body against the other boy, Noah was about to take Christian’s lips in his own again when he too froze, hearing the soft click of the doorknob turning from the front hall. Shit! Still frozen, Christian looked at him and he could see the fear in his eyes. While he was rooted to the spot, however, Christian ducked out of view behind the island just as Noah’s mother entered the kitchen. What could he say to explain himself? He was wearing jeans and a dress shirt, an outfit that wasn’t good for dancing on his DDR mat nor for doing any sort of strenuous activity that would cause him to be panting this heavily.

Knowing that it would take him a few more moments to recuperate fully he did the only thing he could think of – spin around and shove his hands deep into the dishwater, subtly wiping the moistness off of his neck with his shirt by shrugging up his shoulders as though he had an itch.

“Noah?” his mother questioned. It wasn’t often that Noah voluntarily did housework, it usually took several reminders.

“Yea-” Noah started, but found that his voice cracked slightly. He cleared his throat. “Yeah mom?”

He was careful not to turn around knowing that his face was still red, flushed at the knowledge of what he had almost been caught doing.

“You’re doing the dishes?”

“Yeah… I wanted to go out later, so I figured I’d do them now, and get it out of the way.” He could have laughed as he remembered his awkward start to his and Christian’s conversation earlier, about taking credit for doing housework. If only he hadn’t been so distraught, he could have found the humor in the situation.

"Are you okay, dear? You look a little flushed-" His mother started, walking towards him. Noah scrubbed furiously at the pan that had been soaking, trying to think of an excuse for his appearance. If she came any farther she would pass right by Christian who was crouched on the floor, trying his best not to make any noise. Then, Noah remembered something that may have saved his entire existence, and spun around with a huge grin on his face. Most of the redness was gone, though he was still a little out of breath he was a swimmer, and could use some tricks he picked up to control his voice long enough to say the single most important sentence of his life.

”Dad asked if you could run him his briefcase as soon as you got home; he forgot it in your room this morning.”

Noah’s mother stopped walking forward, though he was sure that Christian could see her feet from the angle he was at. Please don’t look down, he mentally urged, and breathed a sigh of relief when his mother sighed and turned back towards the front hallway. “He’s always forgetting something,” she muttered, going upstairs and grabbing the briefcase. “I’ll be back in a few,” she called to Noah from the front hallway, and he didn’t dare move until he heard the click of the lock.

[Christian Hart]

Christian heard a coat rustling and felt the slight vibrations from each thudding footstep Noah's mother made against the wooden floor, signaling her presence in the kitchen. And Noah brilliantly whipped around in time and made like he was doing the dishes. Had he not been so completely terrified for him, Christian might've smiled at his cleverness - and the joke they shared earlier.

“Noah?”

“Yea- Yeah mom?”

“You’re doing the dishes?”

“Yeah… I wanted to go out later, so I figured I’d do them now, and get it out of the way.”

Christian could barely hear the conversation over the sound of his own heart pounding and the rush of blood in his ears. The consequences of what they were doing barreled down on him all at once. If Noah's parents found out and they reacted like his own parents... it would be all his fault...

"Are you okay, dear? You look a little flushed-"

Shitshitshitshitshit - she was getting closer! Christian looked up at Noah with panic flashing in his eyes, one step closer and they were fucked, he had to do something -

”Dad asked if you could run him his briefcase as soon as you got home; he forgot it in your room this morning.”

“He’s always forgetting something. I’ll be back in a few.”

Letting out a slight breath, Christian kept still behind the counter, only glancing at Noah for a brief moment during the time his mother was upstairs. It was only once she'd clicked the lock into place did he breath out and shift his feet.

"Fuck," Christian breathed, unable to resist giving a small chuckle in spite of the disaster they'd just barely avoided, "Your mom has horrible timing."

Hoisting himself up from the floor, he made to brush off his pants, despite the fact that there wasn't any dirt present, in order to fill the awkward silence that arose. Christian really did begin to harbor a resentment for Noah's mother; they'd just resolved the uneasy tension between them and now there was the possibility that there would be even further awkward obstacles to overcome. They did just make out, though, and he had to figure that into the equation. Noah said he liked it - hell, Christian knew that he liked it; a boy's body does not lie - but he had to wonder if Noah comprehended what it all meant.

He never would've thought to think that he might actually like Noah; with Zeke, it'd been all flirting and action, never any slight gestures or tense silences. He was unfamiliar with the makings of a crush - it was almost like the beginnings of a proper relationship, one Christian had never experienced before. Well, except for the making out part; usually the confession of feelings came before the kissing.

But he realized that he did, in fact, like Noah, knew that in the few weeks he'd stayed with him, he'd begun to harbor feelings for him that were not entirely platonic. Noah was smart, sweet, kind, soft-spoken, but approachable and easy to talk to, so in short, one of the few good guys out there. At first Christian thought that he was just experiencing gratefulness, a slight light-hearted sensation every time Noah would walk in the room or when he made soft snores as he slept. However, it'd occurred to him after their drunken venture that, in different circumstances, he would've liked to go further with Noah, to take off his clothes and drink in the obscure details of his body - a few hidden freckles, the curves of his smooth muscles. It wasn't entirely sexual, his attraction to Noah. There was something there, a desire to be with him and get to know him... a budding... love?

But what about Noah? He had so much more to lose; his parents, his home, his position in the religious community - nearly all the things that defined his life. He'd said it'd been exciting, but was it just that? Adventure? An exploration with Would this sate his curiousity and leave him without any romantic feelings toward Christian? Did he even have any romantic notions in the first place? Even if he did... there was no way they could pursue them; Christian could never do that to Noah.

Clearing his throat slightly, he looked over at Noah with a helpless expression, the natural high of arousal quickly crashing into a wary confusion

"Noah..." he began, having no real need to struggle for words except for the want to stall his questions in fear of the answers he might receive, "what... what do you want from me? From this?"

[Noah Malachi]

Noah had felt the panicked, worried eyes of Christian bearing into him the entire time, but he didn’t dare risk even the slightest glance down at his friend on the floor for fear of his mother following his gaze. Luckily, his mother left, and the two teenagers were left alone once more. The church wasn’t too far away, though, and she knew she would be back within ten, maybe even five, minutes. That didn’t leave the two of them very much time alone, and he didn’t know when another opportunity like this would show itself.

"Fuck, Your mom has horrible timing."

“That depends on which side you’re on. I’m sure she’d think she had the best timing in the world, had she known…”

Noah didn’t know how his parents would have reacted to seeing him making out with another boy, but he was pretty sure that if they knew it was going on under their own roof – in their own kitchen – that they would have wanted it stopped. That was just a guess, though. After all, not all parents reacted that way. Some were perfectly fine with their children being homosexuals, and…

Wait, what was he saying? Homosexuals… he’d been with girls before, so he wasn’t gay, right? At least, not all the way. Hell, he didn’t even know what he was doing with Christian, things were just sort of happening and he was rolling with the punches. That didn’t make him a homosexual, did it? He wasn’t sure what the rules for such things were.

As Christian brushed himself off he wondered what he was thinking about. The both of them were trying to ignore the silence that had fallen between them, but both knew that something had to be said. He was afraid of what that something might end up being, though. His curiosity of the other boy’s thoughts was satiated as his house guest opened his mouth to speak, hesitating not in confusion, but something else… something deeper…

"Noah... what... what do you want from me? From this?"

Noah opened his mouth immediately, wanting to reassure Christian that they both wanted the same thing, but was forced to close it just as rapidly. He didn’t know what Christian wanted from this. A fling? A lustful encounter or two? A close (very close) friend? Or love? A lover? There were so many things about this that Noah didn’t fully understand, things his own mind couldn’t completely grasp, that he didn’t know what he wanted anymore. Did he like Christian? That was the real question. He wasn’t sure if he was just acting out, if he just liked this because it was new and exciting, or if he meant it. Noah had gotten to know his peer a lot better over the past few weeks, and he’d come a long way from being that quiet boy at school in Noah’s mind.

Noah knew that his last few answers to Christian had been very noncommittal and wanted this one to be better. Firmer. He was disappointed to find out that all he could think of was the same old song and dance about uncertainness that he’d given before.

“I really don’t know,” he said, drying his hands off on a towel next to the sink. “Understanding and patience from you, because I really don’t know what’s going on anymore. This is all new to me. I just feel so comfortable around you now, and everything else just seems to fall in place as I go.” It felt odd saying these words and knew that it was the best answer he could give, even if it didn’t make much sense logically.

“But I’m not sure… I enjoyed what he just shared, but no one else can know… and I don’t want you to have to sneak around, to hide… the fear in your eyes back then, you shouldn’t have to endure that because we have to hide.” He knew that Christian would know what he was trying to say, despite the fact that he was unable to say it. He can’t be gay, or bi, it just wouldn’t be accepted, and he needed to be accepted until he went off to college. He couldn’t lose it all now, not after everything he’d gone through to get where he was today, and felt horribly selfish for thinking that way.

"I mean... if you don't mind the secrecy, maybe we could try..." he started, not sure if he should be hopeful or not. "I just really don't want to hurt you." Noah realized that this was the truth. He was afraid for them to try and go back to the way things were before because they just couldn't, things have changed. Both of them knew that. He had felt a definite connection with Christian, more so recently, and he really wanted to see where this... relationship... could lead.

[Christian Hart]

“I really don’t know... understanding and patience from you, because I really don’t know what’s going on anymore. This is all new to me. I just feel so comfortable around you now, and everything else just seems to fall in place as I go.”

It did provide a small morsel of settling, his reassurance of comfort, but everything else he said just confused Christian. Why did Noah have to be so vague? For Christian, it was simple - he liked him, he thought he was attractive, and if it weren't for the religious parents, he would've jumped his bones once again. But Noah didn't make his stance on the issue very clear He would offer his understanding and patience, but in a situation like this, he only had so much to give.

“But I’m not sure… I enjoyed what he just shared, but no one else can know… and I don’t want you to have to sneak around, to hide… the fear in your eyes back then, you shouldn’t have to endure that because we have to hide.”

"Oh, I'm used to sneaking around..." Christian mumbled a tad bitterly, giving a rueful smile as he remembered the spy techniques and close calls he'd gotten used to when he and Zeke had run around together. It'd been frightening - the amount of times they'd almost been caught together - but it only added to the thrill of their forbidden relationship. And while Christian didn't really want to relive the experiences of pain and hurt after their separation, he felt confident that they could pull off a secret rendezvous, like he had learned from his mistakes and was untouchable.

Still, there was the issue of how Noah felt about the whole thing. He'd just admitted that he enjoyed what'd gone on, but that didn't mean that he really wanted to pursue a relationship. In fact, it almost sounded like he was making excuses for it not to happen.

"I mean... if you don't mind the secrecy, maybe we could try... I just really don't want to hurt you."

What was he even saying? He was the one with everything to lose.... sure, Christian liked Noah, but it wasn't like he was head over heels for the boy. If they were to be discovered, he doubted it would sting for too long; the only hurt he'd feel was if he got Noah kicked out, but that would be more guilt than anything.

He made a stopping motion with his hand at Noah to halt his small speech.

"I just need to know," Christian said exasperatedly, twining his fingers together anxiously, "if you want to try."

[Noah Malachi]

"Oh, I'm used to sneaking around..."

It was there, Noah heard it, and he realized that this was his main worry. Christian’s past love life was a bid shady, and while he didn’t know a whole lot about it what he did know was that it too had been secret. And the bitter tone with which Christian made that last comment was what made Noah unsure of this relationship. Obviously secrets like this have hurt Christian in the past. He deserved to have a nice, normal, open relationship, like anybody else.

Still… Noah wondered if maybe their few encounters could turn into a full-blossomed relationship, or if they were both just in it for the immediate gratification? That was another question that was bothering him. He wasn’t sure if he liked Christian in a romantic way, or if he just liked the idea of their secret relationship. Was he willing to commit to something of Christian wanted him to?

"I just need to know if you want to try."

Noah knew that this was his time to step up to the plate and commit. He had thought that there would be more hesitation in his mind, but he knew that he needed to shut off his mind. This wasn’t a matter of the brain, this wasn’t like his school work, and it certainly wasn’t like his bible studies. No, this was a matter of the heart, and in his heart he knew that he wanted to give this a try. He really, truly did.

“Yes,” he said, nearly breathless as he realized that this was what he wanted. Any and all doubt from before faded away and his voice was completely confident. He looked into Christian’s eyes, meeting his gaze. He felt bad for the confusion of his words earlier because he knew that Christian now doubted Noah’s certainty. The strange thing was, now that he had shut off his mind and looked into his heart, Noah had never been more certain.

“But my parents can’t find out, or else we’ll both be out of a home,” Noah said, only half-joking, looking around to make sure that the two of them were still alone. Paranoia set in pretty quickly, especially when thinking about what his father would do if his good name in the community was tarnished by a gay son. He didn’t want to bring that upon his family, even if he did want to continue his alone time with Christian.

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” he said, unable to hide the slight quiver of excitement from his voice. There was a scheming smile that he couldn’t quite wipe from his face, and his eyes seemed brighter than before. He wondered why he had never done anything to cause this sort of rise in him before, and realized that he’d never really been presented with such an opportunity before. He hoped that everything would work out well in a situation where he had so much to lose.

Confident that his mom would be another few minutes, he took Christian’s lips into his own, as if this action sealed the deal on what he was now referring to in his head as ‘their budding relationship’.

((ooc- a bit… yeah. But… yeah. Next one will be better. I hope. ^_^ ))