Special Delivery...

[Marcoh Kinsley]

Could he do it? Could he really sit on his bed, what with Zeke on it? When he was provoking rather suggestive imagery by just sitting there? Could he not completely jump Zeke when he was talking like that?

These were the questions that were running a relay in his mind, causing major disconcertion and all around ditherness in his mind.

You can do it, Marcoh. After all, what's the worst that could happen? You build up enough tension to the point where you completely lose control and jump him, and he storms out and tells everyone you're a pathetic bastard?

No, no. More pleasant thoughts. He would just take a seat on the opposite side of the bed, far enough away to keep from doing something regretful, but close enough to seem casual. All he had to do was just walk over and sit down, and they could have a nice conversation.

A plan that might've worked, had it not been for those few articles of clothing he'd let lie.

It was almost unreal, the way that his foot just happened to snag in the pair of sweatpants. There was no way his momentum, the little bit of a walk he'd just began, could throw him off balance, and certainly not enough so for him to fall. No, nowhere near enough to extend his trip toward Zeke and land him square on the innocent boy.

But despite all of these impossibilities, it happened, and ended with Marcoh's knee wedged between Zeke's legs and his hands clutching at the sheets on either side of him.

Marcoh couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't do anything but feel the closeness of the boy below him. His muscles were tensed, arms the only thing keeping him from actually toppling onto Zeke.

This had to be fake. This was way beyond the worst thing that could happen, almost disasterous, but so completely exciting.

[so very cliche, but oh so good.]

[Zeke Nayakan]

((ooc- that was the best thing I've ever read))

Ezekiel watched Marcoh carefully, though he was very canded about it. While he was pretending to look past him to whatever happened to be behind Marcoh, what Zeek was really doing was seeing what Marcoh would do next. The bed was a sacret thing in someone's room, and for him to just sit down like that, uninvited, was a bold move, symbolically.

He hadn’t come here with bad intentions. He hadn’t shown up at Marcoh’s house driven by hormones, nor had he planned on corning the sophomore in his own room. He had simply come to drop off the book he had borrowed and maybe get to know Marcoh a little better. Zeke found it important to remind himself of that, because he found himself wanting nothing more than to reach out, take Marcoh in his arms, and kiss him. He was hot in that geeky way, the glasses especially, and Zeke found that he had more in common with him than either of them had realized.

But what to do? After all, there was still Christian, who had come back from the dead only a day ago. Could something still be there? He hated to dwell on the past, but that had been his first meaningful relationship… his first time. And what of Marcoh? He wasn’t sure if Marcoh liked him, at least not like that. He wasn’t even positive that Marcoh was actually gay! If he did something now, he risked losing him as a friend. What he needed was a sign.

And no clearer a sign could have ever existed than the one that was sent to him. Marcoh went to sit down on the bed as well, which would have been enough for Zeke, but then he tripped. And fell. On top of Zeke. With Marcoh’s knee between his legs and Marcoh’s arms on either side of him, Zeke couldn’t hold back the smile that crept across his face. Thank you, God he thought. Ask, and you shall receive.

Time seemed to freeze. Marcoh was all but on top of him, their faces mere inches apart. There was a moment of confusion, a very brief moment, which occurred as Zeke’s mind attempted to process what had just happened and figure out which of several reactions would be best. All of this happened within milliseconds, because Zeke knew that if he hesitated then the moment would be lost. He had asked for a sign, after all.

Taking a deep breath, Zeke slowed down his racing mind. One of those annoying inner voices piped up, reminding him that if he was every going to make a move he would have to do it now. If you want something you have to go get it yourself, or so he had always been told.

“Are you all right?”

He placed a hand on Marcoh’s chin, lifting his face up so that the two were looking into each other’s eyes. Zeke felt a connection there, he felt a spark, and something told him that Marcoh wanted exactly what he did. It had been a while since he felt that connection. Without wasting another second, Zeke leaned in slowly, gently pressing his own lips against Marcoh’s. Zeke felt a pleasant mixture of excitement and fear. He wasn’t sure how Marcoh was going to react to the kiss, but he was glad he had initiated it.

((ooc- so, I didn’t know if Marcoh would pull away right away or not, so I’ll end it there. Though, oh-em-gee, I just wanted to keep writing this post forever!))

[Marcoh Kinsley]

Marcoh had been waiting for his body to react to the commanding "Move!" his brain was issuing, but it seemed as if it had a mind of it's own, one that decided that pulling back was not on the agenda. Instead, he decided Zeke could be the one to push him aside, figuring that if he wasn't weirded out by now, there wasn't much more he could do to seem completely awkward and clumsy.

However, the words and touch came too early, and Marcoh found himself being forced to look into Zeke's seemingly endless eyes, knowing very well that every emotion spinning around his mind was clear to see. Confusion, desire, anxiousness - and then Zeke was touching him so tenderly and drawing him into a kiss.

This certainly got his heart started again, after it's apparent stop during his little trip. As a matter of fact, his whole body seemed to jumpstart, a warm flush creeping from his face all the way to his toes, leaving a blush in its wake. His brain attempted to sort through the various techniques at kissing he'd heard about, but with his nerves frying and a gorgeous boy between his legs, every bit of fantasy about what he was supposed to be doing abandoned him. Which was mostly a good thing, since it was purely physical now, no thought process really necessary; this meant much less concern, therefore, less awkwardness.

Reacting with a strength formerly unknown to himself, he intensified the kiss, tongue brushing tentatively at the crease where Zeke's lips met. His hands felt somewhat useless, so he drew his second knee onto the bed and slid his available fingers down the boy's clothed arm, the warm muscle underneath sparking shivers to flow ceaselessly up his spine.

For as many times as he thought about it before, it never seemed as good as that moment felt, heart leaping in ecstasy while a few thousand butterflies and crickets danced with it. Multiple fabrications of his first kiss had woven themselves in their mind, but swiftly paled in comparison when Zeke's lips touched his own.

And to be plain honest, Marcoh never thought he would be the one on top. []

[Zeke Nayakan]

Zeke knew that what he was doing was right. He could tell by the look he was getting from Marcoh that he felt the same way. He could see it in their eyes as they locked the moment before the kiss had started. The passion, the desire… it was there in his eyes as well, and in the heat of the moment that was all that mattered.

He could feel the warmth radiating from Marcoh’s face and could almost imagine the crimson blush that had filled his face. His skin was warm to the touch as he turned his head slightly, their cheeks brushing as their lips closed together with more force.

His main fear had been that Marcoh would pull away in fear or disgust. There had been so many ways that thing could have gone wrong; so many ways the kiss could have ended in tragedy for one or both of the parties involved. Zeke had mentally prepared himself for the worst case scenarios that he hadn’t been fully prepared for the best case scenario which was now playing out like a scene in a cleverly written novel. Plant the seed of doubt, get two unsuspecting characters, and then throw in the plot twist. Well, this was one novel he’d read in a heartbeat.

Marcoh intensified the kiss, and Zeke smiled against the younger boy’s lips as he felt a little bit of tongue. This was definitely not the Marcoh he had met in the janitors closet the other day. Nor was it the same one he’d spoken to at Borders, or even in the Library. That Marcoh had been timid, nervous, and afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing. This one was full of raging teenage hormones, which he was currently allowing to rule his actions. Not that Zeke was complaining.

Zeke noticed Marcoh move his other knee onto the bed so that he was now straddling Zeke. Bold moves, he thought, and vaguely wondered why there wasn’t a piece of Dentyne gum involved in this transaction. It was funny what the mind thought of in situations like this. Thoughts like Christian. It was unavoidable, because he found himself thinking about how long ago he’d felt such a passionate connection. It had been that last time he’d been together with Christian, before Chris’s parents had torn them apart. It was a raw, pure feeling…

Zeke brought his free hand to wrap around Marcoh, pulling him up onto the bed even more. He felt comfortable as he ran his hand through the younger boy’s hair. Zeke remembered that Marcoh’s sister was in the next room and his parents were downstairs... and that the door wasn't locked. That, and he had a feeling that Marcoh had never really done anything like this before. No need to corrupt him so quickly.

Slowly, so that the transition was smooth and natural, he pulled back. As a parting gift for their first kiss (which had quickly evolved into first passionatemakeoutsession), Zeke gently bit the corner of Marcoh's bottom lip as he pulled back, smiling as he did. Zeke had a suspicion that Marcoh had never been with anyone before. He seemed almost too eager, something that a person tended to learn to hide after they've dated once or twice. That said, he wasn't bad for a beginner. He was actually quite the kisser.

"I'm taking that as a 'yes'?" he asked, remembering that the last bit of dialogue between them had been Zeke's asking if Marcoh was all right.

[Marcoh Kinsley]

Marcoh had gotten caught up in the sheer sensation of kissing; when Zeke pulled back, he was left breathless and mind-blown. Looking into those deep, obsidian eyes afterwards didn't help either.

"I'll take that as a yes."

He smiled dazedly at that when he found himself unable to speak and gave a small laugh, still amazed at what'd just happened. They'd gone from talking about books to making out in a matter of minutes - it all seemed like a dream. But Marcoh knew better; reason told him that if this hot asian beneath him, touching his coal-hot skin, wasn't real, then nothing else was. It was the singlemost thrilling experience he'd ever been through, a ridiculously warm, happy feeling went insane inside his body.

And then his mom walked in.

"Dinner's ready, pooh bear." came Abbey Kinsley's voice as she opened the door on the two boys. Automatically jumping back, she cupped a hand to her mouth out of surprise, and then to stifle her laughter. Grabbing the doorknob with her free hand, she began to close it while exiting.

"Oh, I'm sorry, hun. I didn't know you had a friend over... or that you even had a friend. I guess I'll just save some, uh, leftovers for you then... sorry." she blurted as she backed her way into the hall, distinct giggles audible through the closed door.

Marcoh, who'd practically leaped off of Zeke the moment his mom came in, went from deliriously content to wholly embarrassed and sunk back down onto the bed (without tripping).

"Sorry. About my mom, I mean. I mean, she's cool but has... really bad... timing." he murmured, trying his best to keep the conversation going. If he didn't do at least that, Zeke would be driven away by his lack of response again, and that was the last thing he wanted. Doubts flooded his mind, and he wondered if this was a once and done fit of unabridled teenage hormones.

[Zeke Nayakan]

Zeke was relieved to find that Marcoh's reaction was a laugh. It wasn't one of those bad, 'laughing-at-you' laughs, but one of those adorable, 'I can't believe I just did that' laughs. He could tell from the look on his face, now that their faces weren't touching anymore, that this had been Marcoh's first real kiss. He had that excited, energized look about him that seemed to radiate energy and vibrance. It was contageous. Zeke found himself laughing a little as well, unable to help himself. The whole situation was just... surreal.

Zeke felt like he was having an out of body experience. He could almost see himself sitting there, Marcoh on his lap, staring into each other's eyes and laughing like nothing else in the world mattered. It was a feeling he hadn't been able to feel in a long time... about a year, really. He found himself realizing that the last time he had felt like this had been with Christian. Sure, he'd been with other guys since then, but it had never really meant anything. Sure, it had been exciting, but there hadn't been that connection that there was here, now. No, not since Christian.

Zeke mentally reprimanded himself. Why did his thoughts always end up coming back to his ex? Probably because you just saw him yesterday and told him you were single, he reminded himself. Single... shit. Now what? There would be that awkward phase now, there always was. So they had kissed. What next? Would they date? Would Marcoh be too nervous to come out, therefore forfeiting any relationship the two of them might have had together? There were so many questions, so many doubts... was this just a moment? Had it passed?

And then the door opened. Marcoh practically threw himself off of Zeke as soon as his mother's voice sounded at the door. Didn't people knock anymore?! Honestly! Zeke didn't blush, he never did, but he did give Mrs. Kinsley an embarassed smile. So this was it. It was all going to end just like his relationship with Christian. The parents walk in, Zeke would be thrown out, and he'd never see Marcoh again.

Except that wasn't what happened. Oh, I'm sorry, hun. I didn't know you had a friend over... or that you even had a friend. I guess I'll just save some, uh, leftovers for you then... sorry." The words were rushed, and there was laughter clearly audible from out in the hallway.

Laughter? She'd seen what was going on, there was no way around it... so that must have meant that she knew, or at least that she was okay with the fact that her son was gay. Well, this was a rather interesting turn of events! Eyes a little wider than they had been moments ago, Zeke turned to look over at Marcoh, who was now nex to him on the bed.

"Sorry. About my mom, I mean. I mean, she's cool but has... really bad... timing."

There he was, the Marcoh that Zeke had grown to know and love. The nervous, quiet, stumbling Marcoh. Zeke knew that this was because of his mother... he could only imagine what would have happened if Michelle had walked in! Or, heaven forbid, Marcoh's father. Zeke didn't know him personally, but dads were always worse with the whole gay thing than mothers were. It was just a given.

"Don't worry about it... as long as she doesn't hold it against me," he added, smiling. "She didn't seem too bothered by the fact that you were on top of another guy," Zeke pointed out, deciding that there was no way to mention it without being blunt. They hadn't actually been kissing at the time, so he couldn't really say his mom had walked in on him making out or anything... she could just infer. "Last time this happened..." he said, but stopped abruptly. He didn't want to hide anything from Marcoh, but he wasn't sure if now was the best time to bring up Christian, and the tragedy that had befallen his last real relationship.

[Marcoh Kinsley]

"Don't worry about it... as long as she doesn't hold it against me. She didn't seem too bothered by the fact that you were on top of another guy."

Marcoh chuckled at this and shrugged.

"I doubt it... I mean, with her and Michelle practically telling me I was gay since I was thirteen, it wasn't really hard to come out with it. To them, I mean. My dad was even okay with it, mostly because he'd caught sight of it before I even knew, and he got used to it."

When he spoke, he spoke with a smile. After all, he'd heard endless numbers of stories where kids were kicked out and disowned because of their orientation... it'd seemed almost impossible that his own family could accept them. They were an average middle-class family, not particularly religious, but every story of abuse and hatred took it's toll on Marcoh's thinking. At one point, he was questioning his sexuality due to the fact that he didn't have any extremely religious or, more commonly, dead parents that may have effected his youth.

He'd long since dismissed those ideas, but wasn't quite ready to embrace himself the way that his family did. This thought sparked a plethora of worries in his mind: Zeke was out, but could he come out too? Would Zeke want a closeted relationship? Would Zeke even want a relationship??

Before his anxious musings could get the best of him, Zeke spoke again, saying something that caught Marcoh's attention.

"Last time this happened..."

And he stopped abruptly, which fueled Marcoh's curiousity. The question left his mouth before he could even consider the fact that Zeke might not have been willing to share the rest of his statement.

"This happened before?"

It was an innocent question, a genuine inquiry in Marcoh's attempt to find out more about Zeke, but it might've been the knife to can of worms.

[Zeke Nayakan]

Zeke laughed a little, but cleared his throat a little to cover it up. He didn't mean to laugh at what Marcoh was telling him, but the story was quite funny. For Marcoh's parents to realize his homosexual tendencies before he had... either he'd been a very daft young teenager, or he'd been in major denial.

Well, there would be no more denial now, that much was certain. The way Marcoh phrased it, 'telling me I was gay since I was thirteen', made it sound like he was fully gay. He didn't even hint about liking any girls, now or ever, even to cover up for his homosexuality. He wondered if this would end up being a positive factor in this equation. This long, intricate, seemingly unsolvable equation. There were so many factors at play that Zeke wasn't sure he could keep track of them all anymore. Thinking too hard about the situation would only complicate things, he decided. Instinct had led him this far, after all.

"Well, aren't we the lucky son," he said. "My parents didn't react quite so well when they found out. Then again, they had found out rather abruptly..."

Damn it. Why did his mind keep going back to Christian? He had been trying to block those memories out, at least for the time being. He was with Marcoh at the moment, and even though they weren't together or anything it almost felt like cheating to be remembering Christian while he was here, in Marcoh's room.

"This happened before?"

Well, there went forgetting about Christian. Zeke's heart skipped a beat. This was a loaded question, though Marcoh didn't know the severity of what he had just asked. A new factor had just entered the equation.

Zeke didn't respond immediately. He was unsure of how to respond. He had always believed in honesty, and had very rarely, if ever, lied to anyone he cared about. Just the same, he was seriously considering sugar-coated the truth so that Marcoh wouldn't be put-off by his last serious relationship. It didn't seem too bad, but what if this kiss was really leading to something? A relationship? Did he want to start a new relationship off on a lie?

No.

"Once..." Zeke started, trailing off again. He wondered if perhaps he could get away with just saying that, but knew that Marcoh's curiosity had been sparked and there was no way he could leave him with just that. He didn't need to think very hard to remember; he'd relived this moment over and over again in his head over the past year. He sighed. Zeke hadn't thought it would be so hard to talk about.

"It was last year. I was in my first serious relationship... my only serious relationship. We'd been dating for a while, Christian and I. He was in one of my karate classes, went to St. James. We were at his house, watching a movie, and..." Get the HELL out of my house! "...his parents came home, and saw us sitting together. Too close together. They didn't know, neither of our parents did. They flipped out, threw me out, pulled him out of karate, and forbid him from ever seeing me again." Ah, the Romeo and Juliet story. Zeke wanted to stop there, he was almost afraid he'd said too much to begin with, but for some reason he had to keep going. Finish his story. "We tried to make it work, but... they stopped letting him out of the house on his own. And then we just never saw each other again, until recently."

Zeke finished, and looked Marcoh in the eyes. It was important for him to be completely honest, and he could do no more than hope that his honesty would not have an adverse effect on the situation. He made sure to watch Marcoh's reaction as his story progessed. Was he now regretting the question? And if he was, would there be anything Zeke could do to make the situation better?

It was hard to believe how serious the mood had gotten, when they'd been so careless and free just a minute ago. He assumed that Marcoh had never been in an actual relationship before. He was afraid that the fact that Zeke had been in a serious relationship before might make Marcoh uncomfortable. This wasn't what he'd planned at all!

[Marcoh Kinsley]

"It was last year. I was in my first serious relationship... my only serious relationship. We'd been dating for a while, Christian and I. He was in one of my karate classes, went to St. James. We were at his house, watching a movie, and... his parents came home, and saw us sitting together. Too close together. They didn't know, neither of our parents did. They flipped out, threw me out, pulled him out of karate, and forbid him from ever seeing me again."

Marcoh listened to Zeke's solemn explanation, his regret growing as the story progressed. Why did he always seem to say the wrong things? Just when everything had become comfortable, he had to bring up a sore subject. This obviously a difficult story for him to tell.

"We tried to make it work, but... they stopped letting him out of the house on his own. And then we just never saw each other again, until recently."

This also made Marcoh worried; what if he and Christian were getting back together? What if Zeke was still in love with him? Was their kiss the result misplaced longing?

But Zeke was finished, and Marcoh had no clue of what to say. I'm sorry just sounded so insincere and cliché, and he wanted to say something Zeke could maybe take comfort from, something to make up for him asking in the first place. But nothing was coming to mind.

"I... I'm sorry it had to end like that, your relationship." he said, genuinely feeling for Zeke. Marcoh knew something that traumatic had to be hard to tell, especially when it might've happened again a mere three minutes ago.

[Zeke Nayakan]

Zeke could tell that Marcoh was regretting the question now. Perhaps he just should have ignored the question, pretended he hadn't asked it, or sort of beat around the bush instead of coming right out and telling the whole truth, and nothing but the truth (so help him, God). But he knew that the truth had to come out now, lest it come out later and things get hairy. That was the last thing he wanted to happen, for either of them.

There was a silence after he had finished, and he watched as Marcoh strugged with what he should say. Zeke wondered what he could say... he hadn't known the severity of the question he'd asked, and so it wasn't like it was his fault that Zeke had to relive the moment once more as he told his story. Actually, that was the first time he'd ever told anybody the whole story... it was kind of relieving, even though now he was overly aware of how horrible Marcoh felt about the whole thing.

"I... I'm sorry it had to end like that, your relationship."

Zeke nodded, but managed a half-smile. "Thanks... but that's all in the past. Don't be sorry... sometimes things happen for a reason." Zeke was trying to make the mood less serious, lighten it as much as possible. He had to think about it... he'd probably still be with Christian now if it hadn't been for that day. Either that, or the two of them would've grown apart on their own and things might've ended badly. If his and Christian's relationship hadn't ended like that, then he probably wouldn't be here, now, with Marcoh, and that was very significant.

"I should be the one to say sorry. I didn't really want to tell you all that, but... you asked, and I didn't want to lie to you." Zeke thought that this was important, to be honest with Marcoh. He hoped Marcoh would realize how much it meant to him that he'd been honest, especially with something as personal as his past with Christian. It showed how much he trusted Marcoh, even though he barely knew him.

((ooc- bleh.))

[Marcoh Kinsley]

"I should be the one to say sorry. I didn't really want to tell you all that, but... you asked, and I didn't want to lie to you."

"No, no, it's fine. I mean, it's better than keeping it pent up and then going psycho one day when someone mentions something... uh, related to, er, it." he replied, realizing that maybe that wasn't the most sensitive thing to say. Marcoh just wanted to keep the mood light and less awkward, but he wasn't exactly suave when it came to doing that. Damn his diarrhea of the mouth.

Shifting a bit, he looked up at Zeke questioningly, unable to keep from thinking about what was coming next. They'd made out, had his mom walk in, and then had a mood-dampening conversation. It wasn't exactly a good first date - if it could even be considered that - but it wasn't completely terrible. Marcoh wasn't expecting Zeke to propose or anything, but he hoped that he would at least talking about getting together sometime, even just as friends. It seemed that Zeke was still trying to figure out a lot of things, so it made sense that perhaps their kiss had been a bit rushed.

That last bit was hard to say to himself, but he didn't want to be disappointed if Zeke decided he wanted to be with Christian again. After all, Marcoh was really somewhat awkward and nerdy, while Zeke was tall and handsome and strong... ahh, brain, focus!

[lame. but i want you to post with christian! *fume*]

[Zeke Nayakan]

"No, no, it's fine. I mean, it's better than keeping it pent up and then going psycho one day when someone mentions something... uh, related to, er, it."

Zeke had to laugh at this thought. The mental image that came to his mind was some trigger one day, setting him off in public somewhere, going all Jackie Chan on someone's ass. It was quite an amusing image, really, though his laugh was a quiet, reserved one. He was all too aware of Marcoh's family eating dinner downstairs now, and the disaster that had almost happened.

"Yeah, I suppose so," he agreed. "It was just so scary. Deja vu, you know? When your mom walked it, I was ready for that same thing all over again." I had thought I'd lost you before you were even mine, he thought, but chose not to say that last part out loud. It was rather evident in the tone of his voice, though, and could have easily been interpreted. Zeke was afraid that saying that, something so serious, might scare Marcoh away. It was a pretty heavy thought.

Then came the questioning look. Zeke had been waiting for it, because he knew that Marcoh's look was an exact reflection on the questions he was wondering in his own mind. What now? They had kissed, made out even, and then... now what? The same two words, haunting his thoughts this entire conversation. Should he ask Marcoh on a date? But what did that really mean. He could ask him to be his boyfriend, that was straightforward enough. The trouble was, Zeke was afraid that Marcoh wouldn't be ready for an open relationship. That might be hard, as Zeke was very open about his sexuality, and wasn't sure he would be able to handle seeing Marcoh at school but not being able to show him any affection. That just might kill him.

And then there was Christian... the variable of the equation. The way they had left each other, well, it hadn't been the best, even at the pizza place. But could he really subject himself to living in the past any more? He had gotten over Christian as much as he could, but there was still that bit of him that clung to the past.

"I'm just going to come right out and ask it," he said, getting tired of the two of them knowing what had to be said but not saying anything. "Do you want to go out with me?" he waited, not knowing what Marcoh would say. "I know this whole thing is new to you, and if you need some time... I'll understand." Or if you don't want to be with me at all... his mind added, but he didn't say that part even though he knew that now that all of this had happened it was a viable possibility. "We can take things slow."

((ooc- okay, so here's how it is: if they are officially together, Zeke probably wouldn't do anything with Christian. Sooooooo, if you want that possibility open, he should probably say he needs to think about it or something. We'll pretend it's a weekend, so the Christian thing can happen before they see each other again at school, or whatever. But, it's up to you! I just wanted to post something quick before I had to leave, and this was the best I could do. This is getting hard!))

[Marcoh Kinsley]

The bombshell of a question hit Marcoh and sent his brain flying in different directions, leaving him with a million questions and statements but not one answer. It caught him so off-guard; being a quiet kind of guy, Marcoh never really made friends, much less attracted romantic interest. He was just that awkward kid you knew in high school, the one you never thought about until they became valedictorian and made a speech about how far they'd all gotten together, even though you never spoke to them once.

And to have someone like Zeke want him... that was just mind blowing, enough so to leave him incoherent.

"I... uh. Um." he babbled, still trying to comprehend the question. For an intelligent boy, Marcoh appeared half brain-dead the majority of the time.

It was such a simple question, and yet he found himself unable to answer it. He would've liked to, hell, he would've loved to say yes. Zeke had been nothing but kind and understanding to him, and Marcoh had never felt a longing like this before. He was ideal, almost perfect.

But he was also out of the closet.

Marcoh wasn't.

Which, under certain circumstances, might work out well. However, Marcoh knew that the impulse to kiss and hug Zeke, the desire to hide in a bathroom and make out between periods, would overcome him. Those kind of actions wouldn't really constitue closeted behavior. And while Marcoh would've liked to be able to come out and become comfortable with his sexuality... he was scared. Honest-to-god terrified. He'd almost been subject to a beating two days ago and was still dodging into doorways at any sign of the Evans and company. Even further, he'd seen the aftermaths of both provoked and unprovoked homophobic assaults, most of which ended with boys nursing bloody noses in the doctor's office.

Marcoh had gone by undetected, only receiving unintentional shoves from obnoxious jocks in the hallways on occasion. To come out would alert everyone of who he really was, and although he definitely wasn't an attention-grabber, he'd become a target of abuse, both physical and emotional. His anti-social behavior would only contribute to the ridicule he faced. Unlike Zeke, he was barely able to defend himself; that shot to Brad's groin was pure luck.

It was so difficult, and he hated that - as well as his answer to Zeke's question.

"I know this whole thing is new to you, and if you need some time... I'll understand."

"Yeah," Marcoh said, feeling a bit shameful, "I need to... to think about it. Not because of you or anything-! Just... just some personal things I have to re, er, re-evaluate."

He hoped that Zeke wouldn't be upset at his answer, even though he suggested the time thing himself. It was actually more of a hope that Zeke would still like him once this whole ordeal was over.

[Zeke Nayakan]

Zeke knew that he should have been more tactful about his question. Had he known that the question would come so abruptly he probably would have said something more leading into it. He also knew that he wasn’t sure he could have, since it had to be said and if he had stalled any longer things might’ve gotten awkward. Determined not to live in the world of ‘woulda, shoulda, coulda’, Zeke wasn’t allowing his mind to dwell on the words that had just left his mouth.

After all, he had given Marcoh and escape route. He hated to think about that, but it was always an option. There was the possibility that Marcoh didn’t want a relationship. The kiss had been an impulse, a whim, and maybe he had satisfied his curiosity. Zeke was all to aware of the fact that Marcoh was still in that damned proverbial closet with his homosexuality. This could prove to be uncomfortable for him at school. After all, kids were sent down to Dr. Perry’s office daily because of fights with the Evans brothers. He didn’t want to subject Marcoh to that if he wasn’t ready for it. The kid was only a sophomore, Zeke reminded himself, and he had a lot to deal with. School, classes, his family… maybe he didn’t want to deal with a relationship.

"I... uh. Um.

There was more silence then, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Each knew the thoughts that were running through the other’s mind. Though no words were being spoken, just by watching Marcoh’s facial expressions and his body language Zeke could tell exactly what he wanted to say. The way he shifted, the look in his eyes… he was afraid. Not of the relationship, at least not fully, but because it meant coming out. That wasn’t something that most people just did overnight. It took time to get used to the idea, and it took a while to work up the courage to tell others.

Zeke knew Marcoh’s response before the words ever left his mouth, and he forced a small half-smile as Marcoh said them. It was important for him to not make the underclassman feel any more discomfort and confusion about the situation than he already did. As much as he wanted Marcoh to say yes, and for the two of them to start a blissful new relationship together, he didn’t want to put his wants before Marcoh’s needs. That was just the kind of guy he was.

"I need to... to think about it. Not because of you or anything-! Just... just some personal things I have to re, er, re-evaluate."

“But of course,” Zeke replied, his tone mockingly proper to lighten the mood a little; show that there were no hard feelings. “I completely understand, no hurt feelings.”

Zeke did understand, even if he was a little disappointed. He didn’t show that, though, and kept his comforting smile plastered on his face in a rather natural expression that didn’t betray his desire to jump Marcoh, giving him another reason to say yes. He had to come to his final decision on his own.

But now it was time for him to leave.

“I suppose I should go. You’re missing what smelled like an amazing dinner down there, and I think I can still get home before my parents realize I was gone. That should quell any unwanted questions,” he added, smirking slightly. Standing up from the bed, he turned to face Marcoh again. Leaning in, he gave the younger boy another kiss, pressing his lips against Marcoh’s, though this kiss was shorter. It was a goodbye kiss, maybe with a little more intensity than the average goodbye kiss.

“I’ll see you in school, then? On Monday?” Zeke asked the question with a coy smile, implying that he hoped to have an answer by then. Any longer of a wait may just kill him.

((ooc- lame. Ugg! My posts just keep getting worse and worse. I’m tired, though, so it was the best I could do. *sigh*))

[Marcoh Kinsley]

“But of course. I completely understand, no hurt feelings.”

It was relieving when Zeke accepted his answer with a smile and light-hearted humor. Not that he was expecting a dramatic walk-out, but hearing the genuine understanding in his voice really comforted Marcoh and tipped the scales in his favor.

"Thanks, Zeke. You're... god, you're amazing." he said, smoothing back his hair in an attempt to distract from the blush that began to creep across his face.

“I suppose I should go. You’re missing what smelled like an amazing dinner down there, and I think I can still get home before my parents realize I was gone. That should quell any unwanted questions.”

Marcoh initially wanted to protest, still feeling a bit of anxiety from their previous encounters where he drove Zeke away, but he understood that they'd both need some time before anything else could happen, paticularly him.

"Yeah. I don't want you to get in trouble with your parents." he said, standing up as well. Before he knew it, Zeke's lips were on his again, and he put a hand to his chest instinctively, feeling as if he didn't steady himself, his knees would give out.

It was a short kiss, though, so Marcoh backed away and smiled sheepishly before turning towards the door and leading Zeke through it. They went down the short flight of steps, and re-entered the living room, the sounds of talk from the kitchen quieting upon their arrival. Marcoh tried deliberately not to look in the kitchen and tried to avoid a confrontation. Luckily, when Michelle began to "Ooooooh!" obnoxiously from her place at the dinner table, Abbey smacked her on the arm and allowed the two boys to pass by without interference.

Opening the door, he stood back and let Zeke onto the stoop and stood in the doorway, hands jammed in his pockets.

"I guess I... I'll see you Monday." he said definitively, trying on a bit of assertiveness. It was strange, but he decided that, maybe, it wouldn't be that hard to pick up.

[Zeke Nayakan]

"Thanks, Zeke. You're... god, you're amazing.”

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m God, but thanks for the thought,” he replied smartly. Zeke was glad that his words had been comforting. He noted the blush that slowly crept across Marcoh’s face with a pleased smile. Marcoh might actually admire him after all, which was a lot of responsibility for Zeke to have. Being admired, especially by a younger, impressionable kid, well, it felt kind of nice.

He had to admit that he liked the feeling. He wanted to reassure Marcoh completely. He wanted to tell him that if anybody gave him any trouble about being gay that he’d defend him. That if he ever needed him for anything he’d be there. Zeke knew this was a lie, though. As much as he would want to be there 24/7 to protect Marcoh from all of the evil in the world he knew better than anybody that he couldn’t always be there. If anything were to happen to Marcoh because he came out and Zeke had pressured him into doing it, then he would never forgive himself.

No, this was something Marcoh would have to come to on his own.

"Yeah. I don't want you to get in trouble with your parents."

Feeling the pressure of Marcoh’s hand on his chest made him want to stay, and continue where they had left off earlier. He used all of his self-control to back away, though, leaving it at that. If Marcoh decided that he wasn’t ready for a relationship then he didn’t want too much to happen. And even if he did want a relationship, this was something Zeke wanted to take slowly. He didn’t want to rush things, which would cause boredom to set in early.

As they came downstairs, Zeke heard the ‘oooh’ coming from the dining room. As he passed by the opening he was more than aware that Marcoh’s entire family was staring at him. “It was a pleasure to meet you all,” he said before he passed by, wanting to make a good impression.

"I guess I... I'll see you Monday."

“That you will, my friend,” Zeke replied before turning his back to the house and walking out to his car, smiling to himself all the while. "That you will." The surge in confidence he'd witnessed in Marcoh over the past few days was quite amazing, and he couldn't help but wonder if he'd played even the slightest role in helping him to be more assertive. He still found the stuttering, bashful Marcoh just as appealing, though.