With a Little Help From My Friends ((Garrett))

[Desmond Giuseppe]

Fuck you Desmond.

That was the last thing Josh said before storming out of the Giuseppe house leaving Desmond hurt, heart broken, and alone. Desmond had spent some time in the park crying in the rain thinking about what had just happened. He'd said a lot of stuff to Josh he wished he could take back. Some of it he was sure was the reason why he left. What stuck with Desmond the most were Josh's final words; 'Fuck you Desmond'. What had happened? It was like Desmond had been sucked into this tornado then spat back out, hurt and confuse. Once Desmond had gotten soaked to the point where he couldn't feel his feet he decided it was time to take his pity party else where.

Desmond stumbled back into his house, dripping water and mud everywhere. His bare feet left muddy footprints where ever he walked, but he didn't care. Desmond caught a glimpse of himself in the hallway mirror. He looked like shit; his hair was soaked and matted down into his face from the rain, his eyes were puffy from crying so much, eye liner was running from his eye lids, and his lips were slightly blue from the cold. The house was empty. As upset and unreasonable Desmond felt he knew he shouldn't be left alone, especially with what happened just a few weeks ago. On Desmond's way out he passed his father's liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of the first thing he saw; vodka. As he walked out of his house he twisted the cap of the bottle, took a big gulp,and began to walk without a jacket or shoes on in the freezing cold weather.

He wandered until he came across a familiar house. He was so drunk and upset by this point that he couldn't remember who lived there, he just knew it was a friend's and that was good enough. Desmond drunkenly stumbled up to the porch of the house with a now half empty bottle of vodka in his hand and knocked on the door.

[Garrett Speelers]

Garrett was home alone, something rare and wonderful for him. He was always grateful for times like these when he could do anything he wanted and not have to worry about the consequences. Like now he was wandering around the living room with a box of take out, lo mein and sweet and sour pork, preparing to watch a movie in just a pair of green pajama pants. Never mind that it was too late to have woken up and too early to be dressed for bed.

His father was out at some sort of eating establishment, getting some dinner before starting an early night of drinking. He was fine with the way that worked out he could do whatever he wanted until about 2 or 3 in the morning then all he had to make sure he did was clean up and lock the door to his room until the morning.

He heard the doorbell ring and wondered who the hell it could be. No way his dad was back now. He'd only left about half an hour ago. Maybe it was Patrick. . . or maybe, he felt a squirming in his stomach, maybe it was Faye. He got up and stretched out his limbs, cracking his shoulders pleasantly. He walked over to the door and opened it cautiously, not sure if the person on the other side would be offended by his messy hair, lack of shirt, and odor of chinese food.

He saw a disgruntled, disheveled, drunken Desmond. He looked like absolute shit. He had no shoes, a half empty bottle of vodka in his hand, his make up was running and his skin was on the bluer side.

"Jesus Christ," Garrett said concernedly. "What the hell happened."

He opened the door and ushered him inside, looking around quickly to make sure Justice or Prudence wasn't there watching. He disappeared down the hallway and came back with a blue bath towel. He tossed it to Desmond before taking a seat on his sofa.

"Sit down," he said, offering him a seat. "You look like shit, what's wrong?"

[Desmond Giuseppe]

So it was Garrett's house. Desmond knew it looked familiar! He stumbled into the house spilling vodka on the floor. Desmond let out a small moan of sorrow for the vodka. He tried to get up, but when he tried he felt like the whole room was spinning. All he could stay on the floor where he fell. He rolled over slightly and took a seat against the door behind him. Garrett disappeared and for one frightening moment Desmond thought he was going to be all alone again. To Desmond's great relief Garrett came back. Desmond just let the towel hit him in the face then fall to the floor. and let it lay there untouched.

"You look like shit, what's wrong?"

Desmond opened his mouth and closed it a few times, trying to think of how to put what had just happened into words. His eyes began to leak tears again. "It's all my fault." he said finally, his speech drunkly slurred, "I sh-shoulda just toold my parents about us. . . buuuuut noooooooo. . . I couldn't do that could I? Now he-he's gone! . . . And he h-h-h-hates me!" Desmond sniffed and let out a small sob before continuing. A puddle of water was forming where he sat. "but, I couldn't just tell them. . . He had AIDS for Christ sake! . . . They wouldn't let me see him anymore. . . Was asking for too much. . I mean, it wasn't enough that I tried to kill myself because of what I did to him?!" Desmond went into a fresh wave of sobs.

[Garrett Speelers]

"Shit," Garrett muttered as Desmond spilled Vodka on the carpet. Ah hell, he'd clean it up later when he had the time.

Garrett sat there, completely dumb struck by all that Desmond was saying to him. AIDs, who had AIDs? And why he'd attempted suicide. . .his head was spinning with unasked questions.

"Desmond, what're you talking about?" he asked. "Who are you talking about? Who's got AIDs?"

[Desmond Giuseppe]

"JOSH!" Desmond exclaimed, frustrated that Garrett wasn't getting it. Of course in Desmond's drunken state he couldn't remember that he had never told Garrett about Josh. He might have brought him up as the once homeless guy that lived with his family, but that was about it. "You know, my AIDS infested boyfriend! He just broke up with me because I wouldn't tell my parents about us! But what was I supposed to do?! Tell my parents that I'm in love with a 27 year old homeless man with AIDS who's now sharing the same roof as me?! They'd freak out! Now Josh hated me and he's never coming back!"

Desmond took a moment to take a few shaky breaths to calm himself down. "Maybe Prudence is right. . ." said Desmond weakly, "Maybe all this shit is happening to me because I'm gay. . . maybe if I was straight I'd be happy. . ."

[Garrett Speelers]

"Christ," Garrett said, letting it all sink in. "Desmond I don't know what to say. I mean. . .I'm sure Josh doesn't hate you he only thinks he does."

God, he was the worst person to come to in a state of emotional distress. He more or less sucked at giving advice, but he was going to try. He hated seeing is friend in this state.

"Maybe Prudence is right. . . Maybe all this shit is happening to me because I'm gay. . . maybe if I was straight I'd be happy. . ."

"Don't say that shit," he said sincerely. "Being gay's got nothing to do with happiness. Take it from a miserable straight kid."

[Desmond Giuseppe]

"IF I WASN'T GAY I NEVER WOULD HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH JOSH AND I WOULDN'T BE SO GODDAMN MISERABLE RIGHT NOW!" Desmond bellowed so loud his angry words echoed throughout Garrett's house. Desmond, always to level headed, logical, and calm, was completely overwhelmed with emotion and alcohol. He took more deep breaths and looked at Garrett, and I mean really looked at Garrett for the first time since he stumbled in. "You don't know. . ." he said quietly. "You don't know what it's like to be me. . . You have no fucking clue . . . Josh didn't know either. . . He said I was a spoiled little rich boy who never knew true misery. . . fuck, just because my parents were proud of me for coming out instead of kicking me out of the house and disowning me doesn't mean that I don't have issues! Josh didn't know shit!" He threw the bottle away and it slid across the floor until a wall stopped it. It laid sideways against the wall slowly dripping vodka on to Garrett's floor.

"Fucking vodka. . ." Desmond mumbled as he slowly slid down the way and laid all curled up in a little gay emo ball and began to sob silently to himself.

[Garrett Speelers]

"We've all got fucking issues," Garrett fired back.

He knew Desmond was distraught, knew that he was pissed, but he wasn't going to sit there and let him take it out on him. He wasn't going to let Desmond wallow in self pity when what he really needed to be doing was finding a way to make things better.

"So I none of us know what it's like to be you? So what?" he said. "Do you have any fucking idea what it's like to be me? OR . . .Josh? The guy's got AIDs. . .seems like he's got a fair few issues too."

He paused to take a steadying breath. Helping or hurting, Garrett? he asked himself mentally. He knew so little about the situation, and yet he had to try to go with what he'd gathered.

"Desmond, I'm not saying your life is sunshine and daffodils. I know it's hard being you," he assured him. "I'm sure deep down Josh knows it too."

Desmond threw the bottle in the process, and it lay against the wall dripping alcohol in a slow trickle onto the grey carpet. He groaned softly and got up to get it. He knew he'd have to clean up a whole lot of shit from mud to grass to rain water to vodka after Desmond left, but a good friend sacrificed shit like that when need be. He looked over as Desmond began to cry. Oh God, he was terrible at this whole comforting thing and apparently it showed.

He went over to Desmond and sat down beside him with his legs propped awkwardly to either side. He laid a hand on Desmond's back in what he hope was a comforting way. He was afraid to say anything at all, fearing it would come out wrong and Desmond would only become furious. He merely sat their in silence deciding that, perhaps, the best course of action was to let him get some of the tears and anger out.

[Desmond Giuseppe]

Desmond listened tearfully to what Garrett had to say. He knew Garrett was right; he had no idea what it was like to be Josh nor did he have any idea what it was like to be Garrett. But that didn't mean all the stuff Josh had said to him didn't hurt. Some of what Garrett was saying sounded harsh, but even in Desmond's state he knew Garrett was just trying to help.

He felt Garrett's hand on his back. It was comforting, especially since he knew how hard this type of situation was for Garrett. He wished he had ended up at Audrey's or even Vinnie's. It wasn't because Garrett wasn't helping, it was because Desmond felt bad for putting Garrett in this situation. He knew he was a complete wreak right now, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't just act like every thing was ok after the guy he fell in love with just broke up with him!

"Thanks, Garrett." said Desmond weakly with a sniff. "H-hey, I know you have a situation with your dad and stuff, but I really don't want to be left alone. . . I don't think I should be left alone. . do you think I could stay here tonight?"

[Garrett Speelers]

Garrett really didn't think Desmond should be left alone in his state either, but. . .if his dad came home and saw him. . .oh that wouldn't be good at all. But if he was ridiculously careful, they might be able to pull it off.

"Yeah. . .of course, man," he said, standing up slowly. He offered a hand to help Desmond up. "You'll just have to be really quiet when my dad comes home . . .and sneak out the window in the morning."

He glanced around, surveying his living room and then mentally going over what he'd need to do.

"Well first things first," he said. "You're soaked., and probably cold as hell. Do you want me to see if I've got an extra pair of pajamas? They'll probably be a bit big on you."

[Desmond Giuseppe]

Desmond allowed Garrett to help him shakily to his feet. "Thank you." he said weakly. He hadn't even noticed how cold he was until he had calmed down. He stood shivering and still dripping wet. He was still sniffling, partly from crying and partly from being so cold. Desmond nodded in response to all of Garrett's instructions about how he needed to stay out of sight from his dad. Then there was the offer of dry clothing.

"Yes, I'd like that very much please." he said with a shaky nod. All he wanted to do was curl up in a nice warm bed and cry for the rest of the night.

[Garrett Speelers]

Garrett walked down the hall and opened a door to the right in the hallway. Darkness greeted him till he fumbled on the right side again for the light switch. Now illuminated, he could see the stairs that led down to the basement. The dry carpet on the steps felt welcome to his bare feet.

He peered around himself until he spotted his pile of dry clothes. He rummaged through the basket until he found a grey t-shirt that fit him snugly, he figured it wouldn't be as baggy on Desmond who was skinnier than him: not to mention he had a shorter torso. . . He then grabbed a pair of black and grey plaid pants with a draw string.

Satisfied, he walked back up the stairs, flipped the switch down, and shut the door behind him. He went back to Desmond and held out the clothes for him.

"The bathroom's down the hall: the first door on the left," he told him.

[Desmond Giuseppe]

Desmond gratefully took the dry clothes from Garrett. "Thank you." he said before shakily making his way to Garrett's bathroom. Once inside he shut the door behind him, but didn't bother to lack it. He didn't think Garrett would come charging in unannounced and if he did, what did Desmond care if another boy aw him in his underwear? Desmond didn't take much notice to Garrett's comment of his clothes being big on him until he actually put them on. Desmond liked to consider himself on the tall side, but he was nothing compared to the giant like height that was Garrett. The pants were quite a few inches too long and the shirt was a bit baggy as well. Desmond looked at himself in the mirror to see how bad he looked. Usually Desmond liked to wear form fitting clothing, he didn't fancy himself in anything baggy. His appearance reminded himself of Harry Potter, how he always had to wear his cousin, Dudley's clothes. Unfortunately it also reminded him of Josh; Josh had been so skinny when they met that his clothes had almost engulfed him like Garrett's clothes were doing to Desmond. He quickly turned his back on the mirror and left the bathroom.

Desmond went back over to Garrett, still shivering and still looking like shit. "Ta da!" he said weakly as he presented his new appearance to Garrett.

[Garrett Speelers]

((Just so everyone's clear on this, Garrett's roughly 6'2". . .so tall angsty and handsome.))

While Desmond went into the bathroom to change into some of his dry clothes, Garrett went into the kitchen to see about cleaning up some of the mess. He went underneath the sink to get some Resolve, and grabbed a roll of paper towels. He came back into the living room and began scrubbing at the vodka stains and wet spots Desmond had left.

Just after he was satisfied with the way things looked and had thrown out the used paper towels, Desmond came back out of the bathroom. He knew now wasn't the time, but he bit back a smile, his head drooping slightly to hide the expression. It wasn't Desmond looking like shit that had cause it, so much as the baggy clothes instead of the traditionally form fitting ones he normally wore.

"Nice," he said, having nothing else to say, really.

He scratched at the back of his neck awkwardly wondering what he should do next. Should he offer him water to sober him up, or some food to help get his mind off Josh? Or should he just let Desmond sleep off the pain?

"I'm sorry I'm so bad at this whole advice thing," he said quietly, his voice rumbling. "I'm just so used to getting it instead of giving it."

He offered a helpless smile at his friend that didn't reach his eyes. He felt truly bad for Desmond, but felt equally as bad at his lack of help.

"If you want to just crawl into bed and sleep it off in my room, I'll understand," he told him. "But I mean if you need anything, like water or food, I've got some takeout here and some drinks int he fridge, and I mean I'm here to talk if you want to."

[Desmond Giuseppe]

Desmond didn't care that he detected Garrett holding back a laugh. Even he had to admit that he looked ridiculous compared to his normal appearance. In fact, it almost lighten Desmond's mood a bit, but only a bit. He did just have a nasty break up just a few hours before afterall.

I'm sorry I'm so bad at this whole advice thing. I'm just so used to getting it instead of giving it.

"You don't have to give any advise." said Desmond quietly. "You put of with my crying, my drinking, and my outbursts. . . You gave me dry clothes and a place to stay. . . Just knowing I have a friend I can go to is good enough." Desmond meant what he said whole heartedly. Garrett had been more help than Desmond could tell him. He'd make it up to him one of these days.

"If you're sure you don't mind I think I'd just like to lie in bed. . . maybe try to sleep it off . . . Or cry it off." said Desmond slowly.

[Garrett Speelers]

Garrett was relieved Desmond didn't think he was a terrible friend, and didn't regret having shown up on his front porch.

"Hey, no go ahead and sleep if you need to," he assured him. "My room's the second door on the right near the end of the hall."

He had to give Desmond directions because, besides Faye, no one he knew had ever been allowed and/or invited into his house before. It was mostly for his and their own good that he maintained that policy, but tonight Desmond would get a glimpse into his room.

[Desmond Giuseppe]

"Thank you." said Desmond weakly. He followed Garrett's instructions to his bed room. He'd just realized that he'd never actually been inside Garrett's house before. He been there loads of times to give him rides places, or drop him off after school or a movie or something, but he'd never actually been inside the house. If Desmond weren't so drunk and distraught he might have taken to time to take in Garrett's home. Instead he went right to Garrett's bedroom and collapsed on to his bed. He pulled the covers over him and pulled them around him tightly. He pushed his face into Garrett's pillow and blinked back tears.

He wasn't even mad at Josh anymore, now he was just worried. Where had Josh gone? When Desmond found him he was living on the streets. It was slowly starting to get colder ad colder outside. In a few weeks it was going to be winter! What was Josh going to do then? Desmond couldn't bare to think about it. He'd failed at making Josh happy and that thought was the most upsetting of all.