I hate my Life

[Ravi Malone]

After having his heart ripped out by Kyan Ravi ran to hide in the bath room. He quickly went to the stall furthest down and locked the door behind him. He sat down on the toilet and cried like a baby. He just didn't know what to do anymore! He'd tried everything he could think of to get Kyan to like him! But, nooooo; Kyan just like him as a friend! Ravi cried even harder. He just wanted to either skip school and go home or just spend the rest of the day in the bathroom crying. The bathroom seemed pretty good for now.

[Tobias Vaughn]

Tobias didn't need to use the bathroom, but he didn't want to start going to class. The bathroom was just the easiest place to duck in to, and if he was late for class he could just say he had to use the bathroom. An emergency was an emergency, after all, and who was going to argue with that?

When he entered, however, he heard someone in the very back stall. This was something that rarely occurred in the men's room: someone was crying.

Tobias paused, knowing that whoever it was had heard him enter, or at least heard the door shut behind him after he came in. If he left now, though whoever it was hadn't seen him, he would have felt at least a little bad about not trying to help. After all, something could have been seriously wrong! But what could he say? It was awkward to hear another guy crying like this.

Against his better judgement, Tobias walked towards the back stall.

"Ummm... hey? Are you okay in there?" he asked timidly.

[Ravi Malone]

Ravi felt like his heart had stopped when he realized there was someone else in the bathroom. Aw, man! Now the whole school was going to know he was crying in the bathroom! No sense trying to play it cool; he was obviously crying. Plus he usually didn't like lying to people.

"I-I'm just not having a good day." he sobbed from inside the stall.

[Tobias Vaughn]

Tobias recognized the voice that answered him right away. Even though Ravi Malone was a Junior, he worked at the grocery store just like Toby did. He would've recognized his voice anywhere.

"Ravi?" Tobias asked, just to make sure. He would have hated to hold a conversation with someone crying and then come to realize it wasn't who he had thought it was.

"Listen, man..." he started, not quite sure what to say. He'd never really had to face someone while they were all emotional like this. Before and after crying, yes, but never while they were in tears. Shit. "Hey... ummm... do you want to talk about it? Or something?"

That was what people always said in movies, anyway. He just wanted to help.

[Ravi Malone]

"Toby?" Ravi new Toby Vaughn from working at the grocery store with him; he was a really nice guy despite his jock status. This made Ravi feel a lot better about his situation, he trusted that Toby wasn't going to make fun of him or tell the rest of the school he had been crying.

"Yeah, it's me." he sobbed leaning over to open the stall door so Toby could see him, but stayed seated. He wanted to stop crying so he could talk to Toby, but every time he tried he just thought about Kyan and the tears kept on coming. "I-I'm having some g-g-g-guy problems." He stopped to take a few breaths and let out a few sobs, "I-I really l-l-like this guy, -b-b-but he just wants to be friends and I-I. . .I." Ravi couldn't go on anymore, he just started crying harder than before.

[Tobias Vaughn]

Tobias was a little relieved that he didn't have to hold this conversation through the door of the bathroom stall. That would have been even worse than this whole situation already was.

"Okay... just take a few deep breaths... it'll help, trust me." Tobias wasn't really sure that breathing was going to do him a whole lot of good, but at least he would be able to understand his friend better when he wasn't sobbing between every syllable.

"Now... what's all this about just being friends? Do you really expect me to believe that some guy who obviously doesn't deserve you is causing you all this drama? Want me to beat him up for you?" That last bit was a joke, but he hoped it would lighten the mood a bit.

Toby was trying to make Ravi feel better about himself, though if this guy was as important to him as it appeared some simple words weren't going to help him a whole lot. Tobias surprised himself by how easily he adapted what usually turned out to be girl problems into a guy-to-guy situation.

[Ravi Malone]

"NO!" exclaimed Ravi at the suggestion to beat Kyan up; he'd never let Toby or anybody else hurt Kyan ever. He took a feel deep breaths to calm himself down enough to continue talking while crying.

"Maybe you're r-r-r-r-r-right; he doesn't deserve me. . . . he deserves much better!" Ravi began to cry harder again and sob loudly. He took a few deep breaths that tried to speak again. "He deserves s-s-some who h-h-has the balls to tell him how he f-f-feels! I-I-I-I'm t-t-too much of a pussy to d-d-do that!" Ravi put his face in his hands and continued to sob.

[Tobias Vaughn]

"Jeeze, relax there, Ravi! I was only kidding."

Ravi was making it rather difficult to try and cheer him up. He thought he was making some progress, but just when he thought Ravi was coming to his senses he just started beating himself up again.

"No... hey, hey! Stop putting yourself down like that. This isn't the Ravi I know. C'mon! You're better than that." Tobias couldn't sit there and listen to Ravi talk about himself like that.

"Listen, it isn't your fault if he isn't interested, right?" Some how he didn't think he was making much of a difference. This was getting nowhere, fast. Tobias was pretty sure that Ravi didn't know how difficult it was for him to think of comforting things to say. He'd never really dealt with anything like this before.

[Ravi Malone]

"He's interested in fucking everything else that moves!" Ravi exclaimed between sobs. "Why not me?!" Determined to calm himself down he took several deep breaths. He ripped off some toilet paper and wiped some of the tears off his face, but it was useless, more tears just kept spilling out of his eyes.

"I need some air." he said suddenly. He walked past Toby and opened the small window in the bathroom. The fresh air felt good against his wet face. He remembered about a month or so ago he and Kyan and been in that very same bathroom smoking and Kyan had opened up the window to let the smoke out. Thinking about it his crying worse, but he used his sleeve to wipe at his eyes.

[Tobias Vaughn]

There was a string of words running through Toby's head, none of which he felt like saying out loud. He wanted to tell Ravi that he was being an idiot, and that if this guy, whoever he was, knew that he was in here crying he'd probably not like him even more. He wanted to tell him that there were more important things in life than guys, and that he should just suck it up and move on. He doubted that any of these would help.

As Ravi got air from the window, Tobias thought of one last thing he could say to try and help.

"Maybe he's just interested in getting some. You know, he only does that stuff with people he doesn't care about." Keep going, he told himself. "Because he doesn't want to do that stuff with you, maybe that just goes to show how much he really does care about you."

If that didn't work, he quit.

[Ravi Malone]

Could Toby be right? Maybe Kyan really won't do that stuff with Ravi because he cares about him. . . . He did tell Conner to back off a bunch of times when they were at Babylon. . . but that was just in a brotherly way. . . or was it? Maybe Kyan liked Ravi too, but didn't realize it!. . . maybe. It wasn't much, but it made Ravi feel a little better.

He turned to Toby as he sniffed and wiped at his nose with the piece of toilet paper he had grabbed earlier. "M-maybe." he said with one of the uncontrollable breaths you took when you cried, "I just don't know what to do anymore. . . . I can't stop thinking about him no matter how hard I try." Even though this though hurt it didn't make him cry harder; he was starting to calm down now. He was more exhausted and felt defeated than upset now. He got another piece of toilet paper and wiped his face dry as best he could. "You must think I'm a stupid little baby." he said quietly, unable to look up a Toby.

[Tobias Vaughn]

Tobias was very, very relieved to see that Ravi seemed to take to his latest idea. He was reassured by the fact that, even all emotional like this, he could still use some common sense.

"I know how you feel," Tobias said. "I mean, for me it was with a girl, but... I guess it works the same way." Toby was thinking about ninth grade. Though he had never cried, he had practically stalked this one girl he had liked. "It'll take time, but if you really like him, you'll respect his choice. And eventually you'll find the strength to move on."

What the hell? Now he was starting to sound like Doctor Phil or Oprah or some shit. This was not like him at all.

"And, for the record, I don't think you're a crybaby. We all reach a breaking point... you've just found yours."

[Ravi Malone]

"I don't want to move on." said Ravi looking out the window. "I want Kyan." Toby might have found it easy to move on with that girl in ninth grade, but Ravi wasn't Toby. Jocks were tougher and forget girls much easier that Ravi could, expect with him it was boys, more specifically Kyan.

(Sorry it's a bit short, but I can only say how much he likes Kyan so many times.)

[Tobias Vaughn]

At least Ravi was speaking sense again. And he wasn't crying as much either. Tobias was rather pleased with himself, because he had never really had the need to calm somebody down before.

"I know you do. I'm just wondering if it's worth it. I mean, if this is what it's going to do to you, then... is it worth it?"

[Ravi Malone]

"But I love him. . . ." said Ravi with a sniff, "Maybe he just needs time to mature a little bit. I mean, his life style can't last forever, he's going to want to settle down eventually." Even though he still couldn't stop thinking about Kyan or even consider the idea of giving up on him he still really appreciated Toby trying to help. Toby was great friend! Ravi didn't have many friends because of his awkwardness. He wasn't really shy or anything, he was just plain awkward.

[Tobias Vaughn]

"There you go," Toby said, smiling. "You just want to make sure he's still your friend when that time comes. Don't to anything rash."

Tobias realized then that he was running out of advice. Actually, that was more advice than he had ever given in his entire life, and he was pretty sure that he was now officially out of advice for the next, oh, 5 years. At least.

[Ravi Malone]

Ravi sniffed and rubbed his nose. "Yeah, th-that's what I'll do I guess." he said quietly, looking down at the floor with his bangs his eyes blocking his view of Toby, "It's just really hard . . . I'm just too impatient I guess." He looked up at him. "Thanks for listening to me and making me feel better and not making fun of me. I know there's a lot of guys who if they had come in here would have made fun of me and told people and then Kyan might have found out and thought I was a baby." Ravi realized he was babbling a bit. "Thanks."

He was quite sure how to show his gratitude other than giving Toby a hug and he figured that since Toby didn't mind talking about Ravi's guy problems he would mind a hug from him. So Ravi did just that, he went over to Toby and gave his a quick tight hug.

[Tobias Vaughn]

The hug felt good, and Tobias smiled a little.

"It wasn't a big deal. I just did what any friend would do." Tobias shrugged. "And come on, what kind of friend would go around telling everybody you were all upset? Not a very good one, that's for sure." He tried to pass the event off like it was no big deal. After all, he just wanted to help, and he had. End of story.

"Well, are you okay now? I should probably get to class... I'm kind of late. I just don't want to leave and have you all locked away in the stall again," he pointed out.

[Ravi Malone]

"Yeah, I think I'm ok now." said Ravi with a small nod. "I still really don't want to go to class though. What if I start crying again? Maybe I'd just be better off skipping. Less chances of running into Kyan too."

He really was seriously considering just going home because , even though he felt a hell of a lot better, he still felt as though he might start crying again at any moment. Especially if he ran into Kyan.