don't you leave me alone.

[Thomas Wells]

((haha... all of my posts bitch about the weather. it's so cold up here. make it stoppppppp. actually, no, don't. I will use it as an excuse for why my posts are angsty and whiney. I love them, despite their crappiness.))

Thomas sat on the topmost bleacher in the stands. The sky was a bleak grey, and the light that came through the clouds made everything look odd and strangely surreal... like in the eye of the storm. At least the wind had let up, if only for a few moments.

The weather outside was no reflection on what was going on inside his head. He wanted to scream, to cry, to sleep forever. He wanted to stop thinking. About everything. About Elliott.

God... everytime he thought about his name, a sharp pain penetrated his insides. Thomas was in love with someone... who must be completely digusted by him. And he couldn't blame Elliott. His feelings were so completely fucked up. The thing was... he could not help it, no matter how he tried. Every part of him ached for Elliott. And not just in a sexual way, though that was part of it, admittedly. Something inside Thomas just needed to be with his friend. To know he was all right. To keep him safe from harm. To... love... him. Without fear. Without regret. Without this goddamned DISTANCE! With his entire soul.

A couple of tears threatened to make their way down his face, and he cuffed at them, before deciding it would be easier to just bury his face in his jacket, as the flood didn't seem to be ready to stop anytime soon.

...what was that? That smell, so unique, so warm... reminded him of home...

Oh for fuck's sake. He was wearing Elliott's jacket.

[Adam Sayer]

Adam entered the stadium, one hand holding on to the strap of his messenger bag, the other in his pocket. He was wearing his father's suit - a dark blue pinstripe affair, one of his favorites, a button up, converse, and a scarf, which he had rescued from a thrift shop before he knew about the entire Harry Potter thing, thank you very much.

He cast a weary eye at the threatening sky (I rhymed!) before looking around a little... spotting what he was looking for almost immediately. Making sure he was not subtle at all, he made his way over to the boy whose head was buried in his coat. It only took two skips, two clangs on the metal bleachers for the kid to look up, and three more to make it to where he sat. As soon as he did, he shrugged off his bag and plopped down on the seat next to the boy, pulling his feet up on the seat in front of him.

"Hello there," he said in a fake happy voice, a wave that belonged on Barney, and a smile to match. The rolling eyes were somewhat out of place.

[Thomas Wells]

As soon as Thomas heard the clanging of the bleacher, he hastily wiped his face with Elliott's sleeve. When he was sure he'd removed all traces of wetness, he looked over - some random guy was now sitting next to him. Why now? He was all but invisble at this school. Of course, the one moment of weakness he allowed himself to have would be seen by a stranger. What the hell? What could he possibly want?

"Um... hi," he replied.

[katrina]

Katrina needed practice for track. She knew that if she didn't stay at the top of her game then she would end up being beaten at the next match. Not only beaten, but beaten badly. This was the one perk she found in being kicked out of St. James: now she could compete against her former school and show them what they had lost out on. And it truly was their loss.

She was down on the track, wondering if it was going to rain. It was cold, and dreary, but she wasn't sure if it was actually going to rain or if this was going to be one of those days when it just threatened to. She loved to practice in the rain... it gave her an edge when it rained during a meet.

And so, with her iPOD strapped around her upper arm in her sports band set to her favorite running music, she had been running sprints for the past fifteen minutes. She stopped to take a break, get some water, when she spotted two boys up in the stands. One of them was Thomas.

Katrina's heart skipped a beat or two, and not because of the running she had been doing. She had the hugest crush on Thomas, and the surprising thing was that she didn't melt into a puddle of teanage-girl-goo every time she saw him. They actually had two classes together, one of them being AP Language and Composition, and the two of them spoke quite frequently since they sat next to each other. He looked upset... she wondered if maybe she should go talk to him.

She decided to see if that other kid would leave, or if he would stay. After all, maybe the two of them were having a private conversation, and she needed to finish her last few laps to see if her time had improved at all since her last practice. She smiled up at Thomas to show that she had seen him before turning on her iPOD again and starting another lap. Just a few more minutes...

[Adam Sayer]

"Hey... that girl is smiling at you. Do you know her?" Adam asked, acting as though they'd known each other all their lives and were having a casual conversation. Truthfully, this guy fascinated him, and he didn't know why. They were in the library at the same period as each other - he assumed that he was new as well, judging by the way others spoke to him. And though the boy had never seemed to notice him, Adam had sure noticed the hell out of him... and that he didn't go the way he usually saw him leave after school.

And so, inspiration led to motivation let to action led to him sitting there, next to this curious boy.

[Thomas Wells]

Thomas did a double take at the field, firstly because he still had no idea who this person was and why he was speaking to him, and secondly because he was sure no girl would be smiling at him - but he was wrong. Kat! They knew each other from St. James - she was a grade younger but had been in some of his classes. He'd actually had sort of a thing for her before...
god, how many times could his stomach do that thing in a day?

"Yeah, actually, I do..." he began. Thinking quickly, he continued on, standing where he was, and then slowly walking away. "I'm actually supposed to be meeting her now... so I'm going to go. It was nice talking with you though."

At that, he offered the kid a small wave, and with little choice, headed down the steps to the field. So much for a private honest moment.

He reached the bottom step and took a seat, not wanting to interrupt Kat. He could wait until she was finished.

[Adam Sayer]

"Oh, yeah, sure..." he said, smile still in place and hand waving again. With a small sigh, he picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder again, and made his way to the exit, occasionally turning around and talking sarcastically to a boy that couldn't hear him.

"It's fine... I didn't want to talk to you or anything. Oh, no, there was no hope you'd be vaguely interested in me, don't worry about it. You have a good time. I'll just be around... you know... whenever..."

[katrina]

Katrina was finishing off her second lap since her brief break when she noticed Thomas coming down the steps of the stadium, away from the boy he had been talking with. She felt her heard sink, assuming that he was leaving the stadium to go home. After all, how long could someone waste time just sitting around the football stadium after school? It was only as she watched him that she realized that he was making his way towards her, closer to the track. When he was at the very bottom step, he stopped and sat down. Was he waiting for her? She couldn't imagine why, but she didn't care either. She liked where this day was going.

She slowed down, and though she hated to keep him waiting there if he was, in fact, waiting to talk with her, she knew that she needed a cool-down lap to slow down her system. Just stopping after such a harsh run could hurt her legs. After that lap, she slowly made her way over to her bag, grabbing a small towel as she made her way over to where Thomas was.

"Hey," she greeted him, wiping the persperation from her face. She hadn't sweat a whole lot since it was so cold out, and she tied her hair back so that it didn't look quite so bad. She didn't want to look vain, but she didn't want to look gross. "What brings you all the way out here?" she said, indicating the vastness of the stadium.

[Thomas Wells]

Thomas was grateful that she'd continued running after he sat - it gave him some time to collect his thoughts and make sure (as best he could without a mirror) that he didn't look like he'd been crying. It never benefitted Thomas to talk about the things that bothered him, unless it was to... Elliott... godDAMNIT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.

Hey. What brings you all the way out here?

Thomas looked up as Kat spoke, thankful for the interruption. He bit his lower lip a second, buying himself time to think of a response.

"I just had to think, you know? It's easier for me where it's open like this," he replied, hoping that didn't sound idiotic. It was true.

[katrina]

Katrina nodded, trying to read the expression on his face. She could tell that something was bothering him, but she couldn't tell how personal it was. She wanted to get to know him better, since they were pretty decent friends to begin with, and this was a great opportunity to get him to open up to her. She had the hugest crush on him, after all.

On the other hand, Katrina was fearful that she might pry too much. He hadn't told her what he was thinking about, so that may have been a sign that he didn't want to tell her. There were always people who waited for people to ask before they told, though. Why did things like this have to be so fricking complicated?

"Yeah... I saw you talking to that guy up there," she said, though the other kid had already left. "So... how is the thinking coming along?" this was her sly way of trying to get him to open up without actually asking him what was on his mind. She hoped that since he had come over here he had wanted somebody to talk to. She was always there for her friends!

[Thomas Wells]

"Yeah... I saw you talking to that guy up there. So... how is the thinking coming along?"

Thomas let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair as he stood so he could talk to her properly.

"Pretty terribly. It's not getting me anywhere. In fact," he began with a grin,"I might just kick the habit and not think anymore. It only leads to trouble anyway." Despite his sarcastic tone and smile, his words held truth - at least for him. Since when had thinking gotten him anywhere? He thought about Elliott. He thought about kissing Elliott. His thoughts only led to actions, which led to...

STOP THINKING.

"Yeah, definitely quitting. Cold turkey. But anyway. You're practicing for track, I take it?" he asked, not able to come up with anything more original to say. Sports were never his thing, it had always been music for him. He had enough coordination to play the guitar. That was about it.

[katrina]

Katrina found herself watching Thomas's hand run through his hair. She had always loved his hair... perhaps it was her turn to stop thinking as well, she mused.

"I might just kick the habit and not think anymore. It only leads to trouble anyway."

"I think they make a patch for that now. It's called high school," Katrina said. "You know, they say if you keep thinking for too long, you'll get addicted and never be able to stop," Katrina added with a tone of warning.

"You're practicing for track, I take it?"

Katrina nodded. "How did you guess?" she asked, laughing a little. "Yeah... we have a meet against St. James coming up soon, and I really, really want to show them what they lost by sending me here."

She stopped talking abruptly. Did Thomas hear about her being kicked out? Of course the fights hadn't been her fault, but nobody here knew about that. She didn't want Thomas to judge her because of it... she would hate if he didn't like her because of something that wasn't her fault.

[Thomas Wells]

((OOC: Marisa, if you didn't want Blane to have done this, I can make it someone else. =) ))

How did you guess? Yeah... we have a meet against St. James coming up soon, and I really, really want to show them what they lost by sending me here.

"Yeah... St. James really lost out this year. First you, then me... I wouldn't be surprised if the whole place started to fall apart tomorrow," Thomas replied, nodding. St. James was probably the worst school ever. Kicking out people like Kat and himself, and letting abusive assholes like Blane have free reign... damn.

Thomas furrowed his brow. What if Blane had begun picking on Elliott again? It had been so bad before Thomas had moved there. The first time he'd met Elliott was in the bathroom, just after the prick had smashed his head into a mirror. He remembered passing Blane on the way in, and then the first thing he saw when he entered the room was Elliott - bright red forehead, a trickle of blood coming from his nose, wide eyes... and then the cracked mirror. What happened after that was pretty much a blur. He didn't even know Elliott at the time, but for some reason he'd chased Blane down and threatened him with a glass Snapple bottle he'd broken on the table.

It had been worth the suspension. He'd met Elliott.

But... god... was it happening again? Would Elliott even come to him if it was? He suddenly felt sick to his stomach.

[katrina]

Katrina nodded, knowing that what Thomas said was right. She hadn't known that he had been kicked out as well, so she felt a lot better about her own 'dismissal' from school. As a matter of fact, she felt like this would only strengthen the one friendship she did have here; her one with Thomas. After all, they were both kicked out of the same school, where they had been friends. She felt better about being here at George Washington knowing that she had at least one friend.

"They'll realize soon enough," she said. "Especially since I got into a lot of crap that stopped Blane from doing anything serious. He's the reason I got kicked out, after all. Every fight I ever got into, it was defending myself or one of my friends from that ass." Katrina stopped talking, knowing that the only thing it would lead to would be a string of cursewords. "I can't believe he hasn't been expelled yet, and we have! It's insane."

She watched his face go through a series if expressions. It was obvious to her that he had his mind on something other than their conversation. Not that he minded, but she didn't want him to have to pretend to be interested in what she was saying if he was preoccupied. She decided not to beat around the bush and see if he would tell her what was wrong.

"Are you okay? You look... well, quite honestly, you look like hell." Katrina laughed, hoping that her bluntness would get him to drop the charade and tell her what was up. "But even hell looks good on you," she added, smiling. It was obvious something was wrong, and she could tell that at some point in the not-so-distant past he'd bee crying, yet he still looked good.

[Thomas Wells]

"They'll realize soon enough. Especially since I got into a lot of crap that stopped Blane from doing anything serious. He's the reason I got kicked out, after all. Every fight I ever got into, it was defending myself or one of my friends from that ass."

Thomas had to smile slightly at that, and nod in agreement. That was the only fight he'd been in at that school - defending Elliott.

"I can't believe he hasn't been expelled yet, and we have! It's insane. Are you okay? You look... well, quite honestly, you look like hell. But even hell looks good on you."

Thomas ducked his head and smiled a little. Kat was really nice. But... could he tell her about this? Were they good enough friends? The last thing he wanted to go through was to have someone else he cared about walk away from him in disgust.

"I... um. I'm sort of going through some things right now," he started, and then quickly realized how stupid that sounded. He quickly folded his arms over his chest and began again. "It's... sort of complicated, I'd hate to bring you into it, bore you with details." If she weren't really interested, it was an easy out... which he mentally pleaded for her to take. It would be like handing her his soul if she insisted.

[katrina]

Katrina realized she might have been getting through Thomas's little mental block as she spoke of Blane. It seemed to be the general consensus that he was an ass, and everybody hated him. No matter who you were, if you went to George Washington at any point in time there was that bond formed with everyone's hatered of Blane.

She gauged his reaction as she asked him if he was okay. He hung his head and was silent for a moment. She half expected him to tell her it was nothing and walk away. She wouldn't have blamed him. Instead, he tried to make her feel like he was protecting her by not opening up. Maybe he was right, but even if that was the case he was still hurting himself more by keeping whatever it was all bottled up.

"I... um. I'm sort of going through some things right now," Vague enough. She waited, knowing that he would have to explain a little bit more than that for her to just walk away from the situation. "It's... sort of complicated, I'd hate to bring you into it, bore you with details." That was more like it.

Katrina nodded slowly, knowing what was going on. She wasn't stupid, after all. She could take a hint. But she was also a caring person, deep down, and she was worried about Thomas.

"I get that. I mean, you really don't seem to want to talk about it. It's cool. I mean, it's probably personal, and it really isn't any of my business. You don't have to tell me, but I really don't mind listening to the 'boring details'." Katrina didn't want to force him to tell her, but she wanted to let him know that she really wanted him to feel like he could, if he wanted to. "Without sounding like a Hallmark card, you can always talk to me if something's bothering you. I was forced to be a peer mediator for a year, you know. I'm great with emotions."

[Thomas Wells]

"I get that. I mean, you really don't seem to want to talk about it. It's cool. I mean, it's probably personal, and it really isn't any of my business. You don't have to tell me, but I really don't mind listening to the 'boring details'. Without sounding like a Hallmark card, you can always talk to me if something's bothering you. I was forced to be a peer mediator for a year, you know. I'm great with emotions."

Thomas took to looking at his shoes as she spoke. This... this was some serious shit. He had no idea where she stood on homosexuality, and therefore knew much less about how she'd react to him being bottom-over-biscuit in love with his best friend, who was a boy.

...maybe he could leave that part out? Yet, as he finally looked up at her, he knew he couldn't. If he couldn't lie to himself about this, he wasn't about to try to lie to someone else about it. And it seemed as though she genuinely to know and help (though he knew she couldn't do the latter)...

If she left in disgust, well, he'd wanted to be alone in the first place, hadn't he? Using that line of reasoning, he cleared his throat before speaking.

"The fact is, if you want to know - and belive me, you probably don't, so feel free to cut me off, honestly-" he paused for a moment, before slowly continuing, "...is that I am very much in love with Elliott James, and I'm almost positive he is disgusted with me because of it." He kept his eyes focused on Kat's the entire time, wanting to be able to both guage her reaction and tell someone, eye to eye. It was sort of relieving.

Sort of.

[katrina]

Katrina was starting to get curious. Thomas seemed to be very nervous about telling her whatever was wrong with him. He wouldn't even look up at her as she spoke! She felt a little bad, though, because her curiosity was completely wrong. After all, what was wrong with Thomas really wasn't any of her business, and though she really did want to help she felt like she was almost forcing him to tell her. Then again, he had told her something was wrong, and a person couldn't just dangle that in front of her and not expect her to be interested then. Oh, and the fact that he was the hottest guy she knew didn't hurt, either.

Looking up at her, she knew from the look on his face that he was going to tell her after all. Good thing, because she was about to just shrug and walk away. As much as she wanted to help, she could only stand there waiting for so long before she had to give up.

"The fact is, if you want to know - and belive me, you probably don't, so feel free to cut me off, honestly-" Katrina waited patiently, knowing that he was probably just nervous about getting to what was really bothering him. After all, she was his friend, but the two of them weren't extremely close. He slowed himself down to finish. "...is that I am very much in love with Elliott James, and I'm almost positive he is disgusted with me because of it."

Katrina just nodded slowly at first, processing what he had just said. The first blow had come when he had mentioned that he was in love. She had the hugest crush on him, and to hear that he was in love with anybody else was a personal stab in the heart. She didn't show this, though, because he didn't know she had a crush on him, and she didn't want to give that away. It was the fact that he was in love with Elliott, a boy, that caught her by surprise.

"Wow..." she said slowly, not wanting to say the wrong thing at such a crucial point in time. Her face gave away that she was surprised, but it wasn't a negative shock. "I mean, that sucks. I'm guessing you told him, right?"

She paused. He'd just told her he liked another guy, and she was pretending like this was a normal conversation. She didn't want to come right out and ask it, but the conversation only seemed awkward if she just ignored the fact like it was something she came across every day. "I never realized you were gay... or bi..." she said, finally. "I think it's cool that you can admit it, though. I mean, you can't help who you like, right?" Katrina wanted to make sure he understood that she didn't hold it against him, or think he was weird, or not want to be his friend any more.

She found herself even more attracted to Thomas now that she knew she couldn't have him. It was so true; you really can't help who you like.

[Thomas Wells]

Thomas braced himself... but the slap, the disappointed look, the walking away... none of it happened. She stayed.

"Wow... I mean, that sucks. I'm guessing you told him, right?"

Thomas nodded, gaze returning to the ground. He could still feel Elliott sitting next to him, feel their lips touching, still see his wide, innocent, shocked eyes... still see him walk away. That was what had hurt the most.

"I never realized you were gay... or bi... I think it's cool that you can admit it, though. I mean, you can't help who you like, right?"

Thomas laughed a little at that, albeit sadly.

"You have got that absolutely correct, my friend. I didn't realize I was gay... or bi... or whatever, either. That is, until I met - well, you know. And that's the thing - I don't care. I'm okay with it. If loving him... makes me that... I honestly couldn't care less." He heard something foreign in his own voice... what was it? Desperation? There was a lump in his throat like he'd never felt before. He'd never wanted to cry so much in his entire life - but he would not, not in front of Kat. He'd been controlling his tear ducts since he could remember, and knew he could hold out now.

[katrina]

Katrina was very worried about saying the wrong thing. Not that it really mattered anymore. 'No,' she thought to herself. 'That's harsh.' Of course it still mattered. She was still his friend, even if any relationship potential she might have been thinking about was completely gone. Katrina wondered why she always had such horrible luck when it came to her love life, or current lack thereof. And she still felt the need to be by his side, even though flirting at this point, like she had been before, would be so many levels of wrong.

"Wow," she said again. "I can't pretend to know what you're going through. I mean... I won't lie and give you all that 'I know exactly how you feel' bull. You don't need that right now." Katrina wondered if it was possible for her to have a conversation during which she could find a better way to phrase what she meant other than in such blunt terms. "But I can sympathize. I mean, it's good that you're okay with who you are. You did what you thought was right. The most you could do was let him know, and take that risk. If he didn't like you back... at least you tried, right? And you won't be spending your whole life wondering what might have happened if you had been bold enough."

She wondered if she was even helping any more. After all, she couldn't tell people when she liked them, so who was she to say anything to anyone else? She just wanted to say something to make Thomas felt a little better about his life. He had done the right thing, after all. Not everyone was going to like you back, it was a fact of life.

((ooc- LAME! Ugg. I hate not knowing what to write. *cries in a corner*))

[Thomas Wells]

"Wow. I can't pretend to know what you're going through. I mean... I won't lie and give you all that 'I know exactly how you feel' bull. You don't need that right now. But I can sympathize. I mean, it's good that you're okay with who you are. You did what you thought was right. The most you could do was let him know, and take that risk. If he didn't like you back... at least you tried, right? And you won't be spending your whole life wondering what might have happened if you had been bold enough."

But I will be spending my entire life regretting the moment that I was bold enough, Thomas thought. He didn't say it aloud - poor Kat was already in way over her head in his BS.

"Right," he said, doing a good job of trying to look cheered up. "I'm sorry to get you down in all that, it's not your problem. It will work itself out, I'm sure. So what's been going on with you lately?" he asked. The subject needed changing. Maybe if he stopped thinking about him, he could forget.

[katrina]

"Right," he said, doing a good job of trying to look cheered up. "I'm sorry to get you down in all that, it's not your problem. It will work itself out, I'm sure.

"Don't apologize. I asked you to tell me, remember? And I'm glad you did. If nothing else, I bet it feels at least a little better to tell someone else." She knew that while she might not have helped otherwise, everybody always felt better when they told things that were bothering them to other people.

Katrina wasn't so positive that Thomas really meant what he was saying. Even if he didn't, it was clear that he didn't want to talk about his mishap with Elliott any longer. She couldn't blame him either. He had seemed really upset, and she was willing to bet money that this had happened recently.

"Me? Training for the big track meet has pretty much consumed every ounce of energy in my being," she admitted, laughing a little. "Other than that... not a whole lot. School work here is ten time easier that St. James, so I barely have to pay attention in any of my classes. It's almost a joke," she said, wondering if Thomas felt the same way about his classes.